Jul 21, 2013

I may or may not have

I may or may not have:

. . called my stick thin 82 yr old Dad a 'sxy bastard' when he came out of the bathroom freshly showered. He was wrapped up in a long thick towel from just below his chest to just above his knobbly knees. Bones jutting out everywhere. It earned me a hearty snort, which I consider a sign for a successful line delivered.
The man doesn't laugh at simply anything, you know. . .

. . tore some idiot lady a new one in the parking lot. After following her from two streets down when she tried to run me up the median with her car, switching from the right lane to the left one occupied by me. Or. . she tried run into me, I'm not sure which. I might or might not have suggested in a very strong manner she take off those ugly sunglasses as they were a) not doing a damn thing for her and b) making her blind,deaf ( I held the horn behind her from one stop to the other) and stupid.
BUT, and there is a redeeming 'but' here, I ripped her a new one in both official languages, not knowing which she spoke. ( I know, right? I am quite considerate that way)
Aaannnd I can promise you she'll never do that again. .to anyone. You are safe to go forth and command your side of the road with confidence if she's around.
You're welcome.
:-D

. . told the sweet 4'8" (and a prayer) lady at Timmy's the donut I wanted was on the very bottom shelf but not to worry as she didn't have far to go to reach it.
She froze for the briefest of moments and gave me a megawatt smile. Seems her mother used to say that to her all the time, she thanked me for the memory.
Warm fuzzies.

. . went through a 3 way stop sign the other day. Ooopsy.

Yup, I just may or may not have done one or all of these things.
:0)







Jul 17, 2013

John Ceprano's Inukshuks. Rock balancing at it's best.

I was lucky enough to be able to drive where John Ceprano ( an international balanced rock sculptor/painter and photographer) displays his amazing rock creations.
Although it was early in the season, I managed to take some photographs of his work. His collection will grow as the summer days go by.
He is originally from Rhode Island but his home has been near Ottawa, Ontario for a number of years now.






Showing a youngster the tools of the trade

















Jul 7, 2013

For Today



For Today

Outside my mother's kitchen window... 
I see signs of summer in her neighbourhood. Children hard at play, people sitting out talking loud enough to be heard four houses down. ( french people talk loud naturally ) I'm down for 3 weeks while I help her rebound from a knee replacement operation.

I am thinking...
about tonight's supper. Yup, I've got food on the brain today. Pre Aunt Flo's visit, stupid bitch. She's well worn her welcome after X amount of years. ( yeah, like I'll put the number of years down for all to know. Pfffhhhttt ) 

I am thankful for...
the rate at which my Mom is gaining strength post-op. Damn she's a hellova strong woman. Big grin!
    
From the Kitchen...
I'm eyeing the mountain of pots and pans I hand washed and piled on the drying rack. They are balanced precariously and I'm a klutz, bad combo. Mom's sleeping. Even worse combo. 

I am wearing...
the lightest summer clothes I own. The humidity levels are through the roof in this province, I live where's it's dry. I can kiss my mother's feet for her AC. ( yeah I can but I'd hafta be dead drunk first ha ha. Just stating my appreciation at this lovely air conditioning )  

I am creating...
a photographic folder of my mother's bounty in her beautiful garden. I have shit for beans for talent in the gardening department sadly. I am enjoying the beauty of vivid colours, kissed by rain and Mother Nature herself.
  
I am going...
to nap this afternoon. Don't dare text me or call me,you'll be taking your life in your own hands if you dare rouse me out of the tropical planet I'm visiting in my dreams.

I am reading...
the package of sterile bandages I have to soak and use on my mother's leg which is housing 35 staples keeping her skin from splitting open and displaying her muscles, bones, plasma and cells. . . The staples I have to clean/disinfect. If I go slowly enough I can count the staples as I pass over them. Bwahahaha  is your stomach is flipping? Mine's fine.

I am hoping... 
more like prayin' to the car gods I don't scratch/dent/rub up against anything with my mother's car. You have to understand something here, this is the 1st time in my life she's let me drive her car! ( albe it out of necessity)  Holy shit, this is a huge moment in my life ha ha. This woman lends her car to no one. Ever. I want to shove it in my sisters's faces bad. But I'm not that petty, damn it. 

I am hearing...
my father's dog snore. How the hell can a freaking dog snore THAT loudly already?! 

Around my parents's house...
I am trying not to kill their plants. Or drown them. I am a serial plant killer. GULP!

One of my favourite things...  
when I come back 'home' is to face dive into the foods I grew up on. Which are all very very unhealthy. But ooooh soooo good :-D  I'll pay the stupid piper after. As my daughter says, 'And not a calorie fuck was given' 

A few plans for the week...
playing nursemaid to my patient. 

Here is a picture I thought worth sharing...

Hubby and I on an evening walk. The kid in me wants to run hell bent for leather and jump off the end of that pier. 



Can't hide it.


'Three things can not be long hidden:
The Sun, the moon, and the truth."
-Buddha.


What people think is true:
I'm hard edge.
What actually is: While I'm not a pollyanna type, I'm a hella lot more sensitive than I let on, I just hide it really well.

What people think is true:
I speak two languages.
What actually is: I speak three. English, French and Sarcasm

What people think is true:
I'm not patient enough with some people
What actually is: I don't handle stupid well, so ummm yeah.

What people think is true:
I'm strong.
What actually is: Yes I am but contrary to popular belief, I'm not strong ALL the damn time.

What people think is true:
I'm a bitch.
What actually is: I stand up for what I believe is right, I speak out against what I believe is wrong. I call a spade a spade. If that makes me a bitch, then I'm a damn proud one.

What people think is true:
I am funny.
What actually is:
Quite often I hide behind my humour.

What people think is true:
 I'll be there through thick and thin.
What actually is:
Not so ready to be there rain or shine anymore. I'm growing much more selective.

What people think is true:
I have it easy because I don't work.
What actually is:
No f*$&ing comment. That's pure Bull. Shit. and does not deserve a comment.

What people think is true:
I don't have weight issues.
What actually is:
Thanks, but you are dead wrong. I might not have significant weight issues but they are there nevertheless and not going away any frackin' time soon.

What people think is true:
I can handle confrontation of any kind.
What actually is:
While I won't back down from it, I will try to defuse if it warrants it. Unless it touches my family then you rue the day you ever crossed my path.
I can name names of those who tried.
And failed. Miserably.

What people think is true:
I can be. . . crabby at times.
What actually is: I have functional hypoglycemia. Want the list of symptoms? They are many. I fight hard to control it but at times, when life gets too bloody busy it gets the short end of the stick and I pay for it. Dearly.