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| Googled Image |
Perhaps I can impose on you to help me out, I'm looking for someone, you see. She looks a lot like me in some ways, only she's younger. In my mind's eye, I see her all the time. She's got wide clear eyes, her hair is a richer shade of brown, her face.. smoother.
We could be twins save for the fact I grew older, she never did. We're still very much alike in some ways. I keep expecting to see her when I pass a mirror. But the image staring back at me stops me in my tracks. What happened to her? She was here a short few years ago, have I been asleep? Did I miss a decade or two? Who is this person looking back at me? Why does this stupid image look so tired sometimes? What's with these ugly hands? Why does this image hurt me so?
The image I see haunts me, there is something in the eyes staring back that casts unwelcome shadows like darts to a target, hitting me dead center.
Breath, Jamie, breath...
What do I see in that face in the mirror? It's not all sadness or tiredness, it's not anger, I can tell.
I am struggling to figure it out. Something wants to break free, I see a flicker of it, I'm trying hard to hold on. But why am I stopping it? Since when am I afraid? Why am I struggling to accept what I can't stop?
I hate this mirror, it doesn't lie. I so wish it did, if only for a little while, long enough to let my guard down and allow my 'self' to settle inside, filling the shadows that are settled on my face. I desperately need to see those clear eyes again.
Where is she? That young woman I'm looking for? I want to damn well take back what she carelessly flaunted without care.
Can I impose on you to help me out? Have you found her for yourself?
Can I ask you how you did it?
I can't break every mirror in the world, but I would like to able to co-exist. I want to chase that stranger away, to see a someone who's deserving of what's changed. I want to tell that younger woman she is well where she is, but I want her to like who stands there now.
I very much want to be friends with that woman in the mirror.
