Musings ( read: bitching ) of This, That and Other Things

I will be honest with you. It's a rare day to find me wandering into MacDonald's to eat. It's a waste of food and money really. For starters I always throw away top of the grilled chicken bun. The part that holds the mayo with shredded bits of lettuce. Gone. I can't eat all those yummy fries either, the salt burns the inside of my mouth. (The salt shaker is a lonely thing in my house.) I know. . . high end whiner, right? Well no BUT the times I do venture in I make sure I enjoy each and every bite. 

But after last weekend it'll be a loooong while before I go back, before my stomach lets me go back.
We decided to go into the Rocky Mountains for a quick over nighter. ( read: running away from home for a sanity break ) We stopped in to Mickey D's for a fast lunch on the go but there's no seating. It's a) lunch hour (at freakin' Mickey D's off all places to stop, sheesh ) and b) it's always tourist season there. 

So, no problem, we went back to the truck to eat. It was a nice warm'ish'ish day, the sun was shining and we were within view of mountains older than the dinosaurs.
We were minding our own, scarfing enjoying our lunch, the cars coming and going. I am a people watcher so I was very content watching the comings and goings. Better entertainment here than in the insanity of a full fast food joint complete with wailing babies.
Aaand then that's when it went south. 'Buddy' parked his car, stepped out and stream spit right in front of my truck. You know the kind, his mouth puckered up, the muscles of his throat working to bring it from deep down, his chest drawing in air to add torque to the final launch.
ShitpissFRACK. Oh. My. GOD.  GROSS.
Ooohh I felt my stomach roll.
And he did it AGAIN!
I can't wrap my head around the level of disrespect it takes to do that in front of a lady. And, yes, I consider myself one. Or at least I was brought up with manners. Some of which included not to spit out in public among people. Or launch a snot rocket, and I've had that done in front of me too. Geezus. 

HURK! Oh shit, there went my gag reflex. I worked to tamper in down. Damn it, I wanted to eat the rest of my lunch. ARGH.  

I got through that unpleasentry and a few minutes later up drove another car, five young adults piled out. From my astute observations, they were not long awake. Stretching and bed heads all around. I grinned, memories of my own hangover days of long long ago. Well actually I was laughing because they looked very hungover.
' Uhohhh, she's not gonna make 'er ' I heard hubby laugh. 

And sure as I was sitting there in full view, a female bent over heaving like a cat dislodging a hairball. My brain shouted to look down/around/gawd damn well behind me. Anywhere but her. But no, no siree, my eyes decided to lock in. She projectile vomited last night's liquid in great copious amounts, wiped her mouth and walked into the restaurant like nothing happened. . . ?
Fack. Fack. FUCK. You've got to be kidding me.
And that was it, I was done. I swallowed and sucked in air fighting to keep my lunch down. I drank the rest of my drink in one swallow. I swallowed some more.
Lunch was ruined. My 'once in a blue moon happy fries' moment was turning over in my stomach.
Stupid disgusting little bitch.
We gathered everything up, gave the area a wide berth and went to the fartherst garbage. I was terrified of seeing and or stepping or worse yet slipping her pile of puke.I wanted out.of.there. 

And what's the last thing we saw as we drove out?
Some lady bent over with the crack of her ass in proud display.
Awesome. Just fracking awesome.

We all know the popularity of iPhones, I have the iPhone 5 myself, and yes, I like it. A lot. I am somewhat of a Macintosh whore. I have a couple of iPads, a Mac Desktop, a Mac laptop along with my cell. You can blame my mother for that, she's been working Apple products since early '80s. I followed suit. 

Anyhow, here we are out and about for breakfast, it's early and the sun rise is promising to be a pretty one. I am in view of a lovely framed window, the clouds are parting and the sun is coming through. So I whip out my cell, I'm going to get a picture of this. I position my cell so it doesn't include in the back of the head of an incredibly loud and very snotty woman sitting at the table infront of us. ( all you could hear was her talking loudly of all the trips she had taken and the airlines she flew and blah blah brag brag brag blah blah. ) One of her breakfast companions must of said something to her because she whipped her head around and gave me the dirtiest look I think I've ever gotten. She turned back around and shook her head.
And me, well me being me before I could stop my mouth, fired back, 'What is your problem?'
( I try to watch my mouth and reactions when I'm out with Rick. Out of respect to him, I really don't give a shit when I'm out by myself lol )
That snotty piece of work didn't have the balls to face me back so I made a big production about taking the picture, going as far as to step out and in front of their table to take the photograph.
I mentioned something to the waitress afterwards, she told me this woman was the type that nothing was good enough. Ohh I knew/know the type, honey, I used to waitress. 

In thruth she wasn't photogenic in the least and was far less interesting than that gorgeous sunrise. Pompass ass self serving cow.

Speaking of waitresses, my daughter and I must of went through one of the most awkward meals out we ever had had the misfortune to go through a few months ago. We had a waitress hang around chatting up a storm while we ate. WTH?? Go away. Like ten minutes ago.
We haven't been back since and are leary to do so. What a weird (lonely?) girl she was. What an uncomfortable meal that was. It's like having a stranger walk into your house in the middle of your meal and converse with you. I'm normally more abrubt in situations like that but for some reason, she was a wee bit pathetic in her whole demeanor/conversation. And hey, I can be a bitch but I'm not mean.

On a lighter note, there is something so comical about a drunk sometimes. The affable kind that stand outside the bar door singing away, happy as lark. So he couldn't sing for his supper but he sang like no one was watching. Which judging by his level of sobriety, I'm not sure he could see all that much in front of him anyways. It made me laugh, bringing up memories of my father in law when he reached a certain level of 'buzz'. Couldn't sing worth shit but always tried to give Johnny Cash a run for his money. And loudly at that. lol

What about you, my bloggy pals, what are your musings and thoughts?

Open Letters. The 'Ever' edition.

Dear Peeps,
Raise the bar a little, mmkay? QUIT taking cell phone pics of yourselves in bathrooms already.
Try this idea: Find a friend ( if you have any. . ? If not get a stranger to do it, most are willing FYI) and have them take a pic. Puuleeassee.
Signed
Don't need see what your grooming area looks like. Ever.

Dear little honey,
Umm how to put this. . . your 'wanna be woman but still a dumb little teenager coming off looking like a paid whore' outfit did. not. work. You are at a movie theatre so why the black tights with strapped up pale grey'ish stilettos? Complimented ( in the case NOT ) with a blinged out dico silver top and a pilled out skirt that has seen better days? Your noodle blond and flat black hair warred. Greatly.
Signed
Someone smack your momma for letting you go out in public. Ever.

Dear 50
Bwahahaha I survived you. (. . .barely ) Kiss my '50 is the new 40' ass (sorry can't bring it down to 30, ain't going back there, baby!)
Signed
Last birthday celebrated. Ever.

Dear Biggest Loser,
I'm just not that into you this year. Sorry.
Signed
Not a healthy way to lose. Ever.

Dear Ms $$ Bags,
Talk the talk all ya want, but honey? You can't back your shit up to save your life.
By the way if you want to carry it off, don't shop at rock bottom discount places, k?
Signed,
Walk the walk, baby, or don't brag. Ever.

Dear Winter,
It's been since October. You just show up whenever and always always over stay your welcome.
Signed,
Will never like you. Ever.                              

For Today

For Today

Outside my window... 

It's the 18th day of the new year. And that's 18 days closer to spring. Boo Frikken Ya.

I am thinking...
About my camera. That I've not used since December. I'm actually mourning it. Stupid, right? Nah, not really. . you got to have a love of photography to get it. Wicked trigger finger. . .

I am thankful for...

Wine. Always so thankful for that. *wink*
    

From the Kitchen...

I'm going to make pasta. It's a carbs kinda day. 

I am wearing...

My workout clothes I've yet to find the time to change out of. Hence the carb day. Momma's not stupid. muahahha 

I am creating...

Not creating per-say but working on my husband's bday gift. That I doubt I'll get finished by March 31st. What was I thinking??!

  

I am going...

To go by one of those S.A.D. lamps. Before I jump off our famously HUGE snowbanks. Or kick everyone out of my house. 

I am reading...
Nothing. Because my fav authors are on break apparently. ALL of them. Do they get together and collectively agree to let us hang during the winter months? You writers suck. 

I am hoping...
This post doesn't sound to whiney or bitchy. Working hard to reign it in, peeps. Appreciate. 

I am hearing...

Nothing. As in NO ONE is here. Suweet Geezus, miracles happen! What ever shall I do? Strip down and dance nekked? I don't trust my nosy neighbours to be sitting in the window with binoculars. Freaks. 
Sing like no one's listening? When I said no one was here, I mean humans. My singing will probably get the dogs howlin'. Unappreciative little shits. 
Bah, screw that. I'll just sit here listening to the quiet and wait till 3 o'clock rolls around. Then it's wine time, which is like in 5 minutes Woot! ( I have a personal thing with myself, I don't have a drink before 3, dunno why. But I've always stuck to it. 

Around the house...

I'm marking what I'm going to be sticking in the 5th wheel we want to purchase when the R.V. show rolls into town.
Hurry up already. 

One of my favourite things... ( to do in the winter ) 

When the sun comes out and I stretch out on my bed, falling asleep in the sun rays. It gives me hope Spring will come again. 

A few plans for the week...
The week's done. I'll be happier after next week is finished. Specifically Tuesday. When I turn 50. Frack. Damn. Crap. Lord, gimme the strength to accept it with grace and if not then make sure NO one's within smackin' distance. I have no clue how I'll be. Consider yourself warned. 

Here is a picture I thought worth sharing...

Why could I have NOT been born with hair like this?  

Fare thee well, 2012.

Stock Photo- Google

So closes yet another year. . .
And I have no idea where it went :-(

I can't say 2012 has been a tough year, I've barely seen it go by.
But what have I been doing since last January?  Sticking my head in the sand, ignoring the general population life?
Where'd it go??

If I was to highlight the events I remember of this year, (which, really, is the whole point of this post) it would go something like this:

One of them, rather one of the more emotional of the year was finding someone after searching for 32 years. . The effects of which I'm still feeling. I get sad from time to time but I also have the ability to draw on long ago memories and take pleasure from it. Which is weird given I have trouble calling up the past for the most part.

Another emotional one was the day I said goodbye to a sweet and dear friend. How I still miss him so.

Yet I've had the absolute pleasure in reconnecting with my past. High school friends of long ago met up for such an enjoyable weekend. It still surprises me how much fun I had and what I took from it.

In the last six months I've watched my daughters take huge steps in their lives. For the better and I couldn't ask for more. It's been a difficult process watching them reach a point where change had to happen but it wasn't me navigating, they were in the drivers's seats.
But now I hold witness to the outcome of these decisions and choices. I've seen changes in both of them, both big and small. Their confidence has upped and they 'have a plan'.
What better gift can a mother ask for?

The last two months of this year I took myself to task. Rotten time to do it, doncha think? Christmas around the bend and here I am counting calories. That's so me, never taking the easy road. But I had to, I had to start caring about 'me' again. And it's been tough, let me tell you. It's so much easier to stop giving a crap about my hair, what I'm wearing, what I'm eating. And by the way, Wow! who'da thunk it was this easy to emotionally eat!? I've never, in all my years, had any trouble with it and 15 lbs later I've put a stop to it. Trouble is, at my age 15 lbs to lose is like 30 to a 20/30 year old. It'll take time and bloody hard work. A revved up metabolism for pre-menopausal women is almost non existent. Because you know. . we've not yet paid our dues in full. Why not pack on the pounds, lose sleep every single night and look like it. Aaaand they wonder why we're a tad cranky at this stage of the game. .
Oh well Rome wasn't built in a day. Those 15 lbs weren't put on in one either.
So here I go, pound by pound, I will slay that number 15. Might take me most of the year but damn it, I'm going to do it just to prove to myself I can. (And if I don't, ohhhh welllll I'm way past beating myself up over things like this. And I'll celebrate whatever it is I've lost. )

Really though, in retrospect I really don't have to search my almost non existent memory for this year's highlights. What matters most to me is my year ends with my three girls and my hubby healthy & happy and me not institutionalized. ( Ahhh some days I tell ya. . *wink* )

In closing I'm not sure what 2013 will bring but hey! Game on, baby!

Pssst- To the powers that be, just throw in some nice surprises here and there.. for shits and giggles, mmkay?

Happy New Year to you my Peeps.
Hopefully 2013 will bring you some shits and giggles too :-)

xo
Jamie

For you, George. Happy December 23rd

The Airing of Grievances 

Hey you! Yeah, you bitches in the pool: You wanted to comment on my daughter as she passed you by to join me in the hot tub? Your hijab didn't hide the snotty ass comments you made to each other. I didn't have to speak your language to understand. I'm a woman too. Albeit nicer, much much nicer. Well okay, maybe not in this case but you had it coming. . . And you didn't expect it did you, you little snots. Quite embarassing being called out publicly I'm sure. Understand this; I don't care if she's 22 or would be 42, no one gets catty about my girls. Especially in front of me.

Hey you! Yeah you asswipe driver. Go back to driving school before you kill someone. Contrary to popular belief (namely your own) you can't drive and text worth shit. I really hope the government allow the police service to issue demerit points if your caught in the year 2013.

Yes, I'm old school. But not old school enough that I don't use technology to my advantage. Yes, yes it's true, I do indeed ignore you sometimes. ( and by 'you' I don't mean you, silly ) Texting is where it's at. I regularly thank the absolute genius who gave us this incredibly useful tool.

I want to get the nerve at some point to go in the mall and holler out, 'Leggings are NOT pants. #1-They don't do SHIT for your ass. #2- They don't do anything for your legs unless you in semi shape. #3- One word: Thongs  #4- And if you insist on wearing them, buy a damn magazine and figure out how they are supposed to be paired.
I want to slap the back of  some young little loser gangsta wannabe's head and tell him his stupid jeans don't look cool half way down his ugly ass skivvies. And he looks like a freakin' penguin walking, only penguins walk with some sort of gait and style.
But mostly? Mostly I want to get in everyone's faces wearing pjs. FYI: You. Look. Stupid.

This chick's got the whole ensemble complete with no socks. 

Another FYI. . . I'm a month away from turning 50. That means several things, one of which is I stop giving a crap it being all about you. All of the time. I'm not bitter but don't wonder if you've not heard from me in a long time. I'm over here, making it about me for a change, and you know what? I like it.

Hey you! Political figure and member of Parliament: At the end of it, you only care about lining your pockets. Kiss my non political ass. Or go lick a cow's ass, it would probably smell better than the lies that spews out of your mouth every time you speak.

Hey You! Yeah, you religious fanatic out there, save your breath. I'm sick, sore and damn tired of hearing the drivel. Read my lips: I'm spiritual, not religious. What I do in my life is between me and Him. No, I'm actually not going to hell. No, you are not one of the 250 that will go to heaven. Who gave you that load of bullshit? Save your ' I'm holier than you' crap, cause baby, you ain't and neither is your religion.

Hey You! Yeah,you Mark Zuckerberg: Can I send you a list of idiots who should be banned from your media site? . :-) Much appreciated.   

To the rest of you, if you can't respect, if you can't be compassionate, if you can't think of someone other than yourselves, if you can't do anything but gossip, if you can't see your own faults while readily pointing out those of others. .
Piss off.

That's all.
Well, for now.

:-)

Happy Festivus.