Open Letters. The 'Ever' edition.

Dear Peeps,
Raise the bar a little, mmkay? QUIT taking cell phone pics of yourselves in bathrooms already.
Try this idea: Find a friend ( if you have any. . ? If not get a stranger to do it, most are willing FYI) and have them take a pic. Puuleeassee.
Signed
Don't need see what your grooming area looks like. Ever.

Dear little honey,
Umm how to put this. . . your 'wanna be woman but still a dumb little teenager coming off looking like a paid whore' outfit did. not. work. You are at a movie theatre so why the black tights with strapped up pale grey'ish stilettos? Complimented ( in the case NOT ) with a blinged out dico silver top and a pilled out skirt that has seen better days? Your noodle blond and flat black hair warred. Greatly.
Signed
Someone smack your momma for letting you go out in public. Ever.

Dear 50
Bwahahaha I survived you. (. . .barely ) Kiss my '50 is the new 40' ass (sorry can't bring it down to 30, ain't going back there, baby!)
Signed
Last birthday celebrated. Ever.

Dear Biggest Loser,
I'm just not that into you this year. Sorry.
Signed
Not a healthy way to lose. Ever.

Dear Ms $$ Bags,
Talk the talk all ya want, but honey? You can't back your shit up to save your life.
By the way if you want to carry it off, don't shop at rock bottom discount places, k?
Signed,
Walk the walk, baby, or don't brag. Ever.

Dear Winter,
It's been since October. You just show up whenever and always always over stay your welcome.
Signed,
Will never like you. Ever.