Jul 8, 2015

Open Letter to the idiot, you and life

Dear ( insert 'idiot' or 'you'  'life' - which ever applies )

Idiot: Instant karma- don't ya love it!  ( or in your case - hate it!) Ignore the stop sign, cut me off and get stuck behind that massive house the huge truck is hauling going 40 clicks an hour in a 110 click an hr zone. Have fun, you are at least an hour to where you need to go. Me? I knew of a short cut and I took it. Pffhhhtt, cya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

Life: Okay, so we're at somewhat of a standstill. I don't like it but I understand why. I'm not rushing the goal line but I'm a wee bit anxious to start driving that particular road. Sigh.
Oh well in the meantime. .
Wine.

You: You WILL be okay, you hear me? When you get tired enough of fighting your demons you WILL strike back. Like the Empire. Yup, you gots it in you, I know it for a fact.

Idiot: the term 'idiot' is off the mark in this case. Narcissistic money grubbing piece of greedy trash is closer to the mark but I'm too uhhh Catholic to call you that.
I have one thing to say about this: I've waited years for the scales to be balanced and witnessing it is sure and a glorious thing. I don't wish you ill but I don't feel sorry for you either. Start scrambling, Sunshine, you are far from dying. Consider the outcome a sign from above cause I know I did.

Life: To the boy that broke her heart. . Don't throw what you know in your heart is right. Life is shorter than you think and goes by faster that you are prepared. If you do end up losing her I feel for you. She has the world to offer you. Take heed with her heart, crush it one time to many and she'll take it back.For good. Or she just might end up crushing yours when you finally decide you want in. I know you love her but right now I intensely dislike you for hurting her to that degree.

You: You are beautiful,inside and out. You just need to start believing. Yeah, I know. . it's not easy but anything worth in life rarely is. And guess what? You are worth it.

Idiot: To everyone out there who lives solely to please themselves dismissing the rest of us 'peons': try trading your shit for brains for a newer upgraded model or go find an uninhabited island somewhere far far away, live among yourselves. I am getting tired of coming across you people on a daily basis, really tired.

Life: Like my tag line on my blog says, ' Life is too short to drink bad wine'  Let go of what doesn't matter, embrace what does. Trust in the balancing of scales, believe in a higher power if that gives you peace. Take joy in the little things but don't sweat the small stuff.
And remember: do one thing a week that scares the shit out of you then run like hell! :-D


Google image


You: Send hellos my way. If you have questions, I'll answer them. If you want to 'talk' I'll listen. 
You can always count on me to call a spade what it is. . and sometimes, Sunshine, it ain't no rose.

May 25, 2015

Because that's how I roll

You say tomata I say onion. 
I'm different that way. 


Tell me if you've heard this before:

"My life is so. freakin'. great"
"I did this and that ,went here and there and I own many material things "
"I have purrrfect children/husband/house/neighbours/day/life"
 blah blah blah
 I usually last about 5 minutes in to this type of convo. My eyes glaze over and I'm mentally smashing my head against a brick wall. Or I'm watching the spider and the fly duelling it to the death. Or my attention is drawn to the man ( like watching a bad reality show)  picking his disgusting nose wondering if he got the gold.
Anything but this.
Yes your road is paved smooth, yes God is good, even if the only time you ever give thanks to above is when something good happens ( a pet peeve of mine but that's another post for another day ) Yes yes yes you are scads above peons like me.
Seriously though? Yawn. And I mean YAWNNNNN
Perfection - be it someone's dandelion free lawn ( how do those Martha Stewarts do it??! ) to competing against the Joneses - in my world takes way to much effort and time out of well. . life.
Come on over and check out my front lawn, ( bring coffee, ya? ) I have a mini jungle out there. My bees have pollenated the next four lawns over ha ha although I don't think my neighbours feel all that  appreciative about it. And if you know me in RL you know I'm the first to laugh at and take a wee bit of glory in my imperfections. Takes me off any pedestal others choose to live on. When someone like me is on terra firma one doesn't have far to fall already.
Truth.
I'd rather all the twists, turns and sudden drop offs I've encountered in my time with the roads I've chosen and decisions I've made.

Below is pretty much me in the front row only reined back a wee bit otherwise I'd be those two combined. Woot!


~~~~~~~~~~

I was talking to a friend about a situation she's currently struggling with, . the loss of a 2nd (3rd?) friendship within a year.
I maintain if you haven't lost a friend in the last year or so you aren't growing in any way, shape or direction. We change, we move on. What fed our requirements of a friendship then might not hold water now.
She'll eventually become more selective. . coming to understand quality over quantity. Time, my friend. . it adds a sheen of 'I don't give a shit' rather nicely.  :-)

~~~~~~~~~

A broken promise and a promise kept. That's what it took for me to walk away from a long term friendship. As in Rome, the friendship wasn't built in a day and the dismantling of it wasn't done in one either. Ties to unravel, baby steps in walking away with the hopes of minimizing the strife/drama/hurt. It took a year but I managed to walk away without a huge rift shifting anyone's foundations. Or at least, I hope.

I take pride in the promises I make, I come from 'my word is my contract' stock. We raised our daughters to be the same. So when I promised my husband I'd walk away if a promise made to me was broken  I made good and sure I held true to my word. (he had called it from the get go, I had argued it > this time was going to be different and well. . . you know where this is going. Yup. .it went all the way south.)
At odd times I get upset at myself for having given much more than I received. But that one's on me as we always had a choice, right?  Still though an unbalanced see-saw isn't much fun to play on when one keeps landing on the ground over and over. This last time was a hard landing, clearly it was time for me to get off and go home.
What was mildly surprising yet not really was the sense of relief and of freedom I experienced when I called it a day.
No pressures, no unbalanced expectations. . No regrets, no second thoughts.
Not to mention a very happy albeit surprised husband.

~~~~~~~~~~

I was in conversation with an American from Utah a short while ago and it being a balmy 5 degrees Celsius outside ( 41 fahrenheit )  I shed my coat, it was warm outside with the sun shining near blinding a person from the glare off the mounds of snow.
"What is it about you Western Canadians the minute it hits 2 degrees Celsius you declare it 'T-Shirt' season??" he quipped.
Who's going to tell the weenie him shorts and sandals usually come out at 7 degrees. . ?

~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah. . .Onion.
Because that's how I roll.  :-)


May 5, 2015

The day I will die a little



Yesterday consisted of putting on my extra strong 'Momma Cape' and knotting it. Tight.
The day was spent dealing with two VERY sick adult daughters with both living in a different town/city. Put some mileage on I did. 

The eldest, poor sweetheart, has an E.coli infection which is having a HUGE  free for all party in her intestines. As well she had to get her permanent retainer re-cemented. It has NOT been a good day for her since Friday, guaranteeing an ensuing very painful four days. But like her mother/father and sister, she has a very high pain tolerance level. However, it wears a body down fighting this. She's on antibiotics now so fingers crossed, and her retainer not going anywhere. (on a good front, we started her head gear/braces 18 years ago. It's been close to ten years I've been in. Lo and behold, they remembered me. How cool is that! ) 

The youngest, wow. . a day straight from hell.  :-(  She was completely incapacitated by what was the worst migraine she's ever suffered in her life. Since Sunday. Had to rub and massage her head. When she coughed we had to vice her head hard and fast. ( The Fast and Furious? Pffhhhtt we were much faster) Talking was at a whisper, light was her mortal enemy. Her father suffered them, her father's mother suffered them and she was the unlucky one that they passed it on to. I pray like crazy it will skip her daughter. :-( They seen to abate some after the age of 40. And she's so not there yet. sigh.
Today, she feels like she has been hit with a cannon ball in the jaw and temples albeit a different type of pain. One that doesn't make her want to rip out her hair from her scalp, slowly. . just to change the tempo/type of pain. . Yeah, it is that bad to those that don't suffer understand and suffer these debilitating migraines.

At about 4:15 pm I took off my Momma Cape and slapped on my G-ma cape. My little g-baby spent the rest of yesterday and overnight with me as her mother was doing all in her power to break the migraine. 
I made the 'mistake' of taking a couple of hours with a friend to a paint night ( sans wine. BIG mistake. sigh ) where it was obvious I put the day I had down on canvas. It wasn't pretty folks, it truly wasn't. So bad I spent a little while second guessing my creative talents but I've come to understand several things in the process of dealing with it.
Shit happens. I can't be 'on' all the time creatively speaking and I am absolutely rotten at the 'pressure/time' creative flow. I work well solo or with no time constraints.
Much like I shop. lol  Pokey. 

I can tell you, however, it very much hurts a momma still at this point to see her kids suffering so, the girls kept apologizing but it's like I said to them. " The day you stop needing me is the day I will die a little " 
No matter what age, those two will always be my little girls .


Starbucks ( where my youngest works )is calling to me now where I will indulge in a very strong cuppa joe because well. . .I earned it.
Other than that, I'm doing absolutely nada today. Zero. Zip. 

Apr 4, 2015

Paint and Plexiglass

"Life's a great big canvas, throw all the paint you can at it" - Danny Kaye

So challenge #3 in this group I'm in was a self portrait. I have an intense and well known dislike for self portraits. I came up with the idea to print out a photograph of me and paint in on plexiglass with acrylic paint. BOOM! Self portrait done and it didn't hurt too bad. ;-)
But then that self portrait turned into 'The Provencal Women'
All my girls heart emoticon, I believe, were pleased with the outcome.


Mar 21, 2015

A couple of photography challenges


A month or so ago I was invited to join a photography critique group and I jumped at the chance. Winter is not my fav season, and I don't take many pictures. I know I needed a push to get my camera out again to play. I welcome critiques of my work, it does not scare me. . if it's done right. There is a fine art to it and it can be a wicked good learning curve.
Anyhow, there has been two since I joined. The first is
'Mother Nature's Beauty' Here were my 3 submissions.


Titled 'The Arbo's Crescendo'


Titled 'Nature's little water bowls'

Titled 'Dressed to Kill'  


The second challenge allowed me to put on my thinking cap. It is my perception of what I want to portray for the theme.

Challenge #2- 'Home is where the Heart is' -here were my 3 submissions.
The last one was of my grand daughter 'sick' home from school at my house while her mother went to work. Suffice it to say what happens at Namie's stays at Namie's. On an aside, I had trouble with the shadows on her face due to the placement of the sun , as well she was going heck bent for election on the swings. The egg photograph refuses to show itself as it's supposed to be, a lot whiter and brighter. Oh well. 

Titled: 'The pulse of a home beats within the heart of a kitchen'

Titled: 'Where the pin lands the heart follows'

Titled: 'Sick day w/ Namie'