May 25, 2015

Because that's how I roll

You say tomata I say onion. 
I'm different that way. 


Tell me if you've heard this before:

"My life is so. freakin'. great"
"I did this and that ,went here and there and I own many material things "
"I have purrrfect children/husband/house/neighbours/day/life"
 blah blah blah
 I usually last about 5 minutes in to this type of convo. My eyes glaze over and I'm mentally smashing my head against a brick wall. Or I'm watching the spider and the fly duelling it to the death. Or my attention is drawn to the man ( like watching a bad reality show)  picking his disgusting nose wondering if he got the gold.
Anything but this.
Yes your road is paved smooth, yes God is good, even if the only time you ever give thanks to above is when something good happens ( a pet peeve of mine but that's another post for another day ) Yes yes yes you are scads above peons like me.
Seriously though? Yawn. And I mean YAWNNNNN
Perfection - be it someone's dandelion free lawn ( how do those Martha Stewarts do it??! ) to competing against the Joneses - in my world takes way to much effort and time out of well. . life.
Come on over and check out my front lawn, ( bring coffee, ya? ) I have a mini jungle out there. My bees have pollenated the next four lawns over ha ha although I don't think my neighbours feel all that  appreciative about it. And if you know me in RL you know I'm the first to laugh at and take a wee bit of glory in my imperfections. Takes me off any pedestal others choose to live on. When someone like me is on terra firma one doesn't have far to fall already.
Truth.
I'd rather all the twists, turns and sudden drop offs I've encountered in my time with the roads I've chosen and decisions I've made.

Below is pretty much me in the front row only reined back a wee bit otherwise I'd be those two combined. Woot!


~~~~~~~~~~

I was talking to a friend about a situation she's currently struggling with, . the loss of a 2nd (3rd?) friendship within a year.
I maintain if you haven't lost a friend in the last year or so you aren't growing in any way, shape or direction. We change, we move on. What fed our requirements of a friendship then might not hold water now.
She'll eventually become more selective. . coming to understand quality over quantity. Time, my friend. . it adds a sheen of 'I don't give a shit' rather nicely.  :-)

~~~~~~~~~

A broken promise and a promise kept. That's what it took for me to walk away from a long term friendship. As in Rome, the friendship wasn't built in a day and the dismantling of it wasn't done in one either. Ties to unravel, baby steps in walking away with the hopes of minimizing the strife/drama/hurt. It took a year but I managed to walk away without a huge rift shifting anyone's foundations. Or at least, I hope.

I take pride in the promises I make, I come from 'my word is my contract' stock. We raised our daughters to be the same. So when I promised my husband I'd walk away if a promise made to me was broken  I made good and sure I held true to my word. (he had called it from the get go, I had argued it > this time was going to be different and well. . . you know where this is going. Yup. .it went all the way south.)
At odd times I get upset at myself for having given much more than I received. But that one's on me as we always had a choice, right?  Still though an unbalanced see-saw isn't much fun to play on when one keeps landing on the ground over and over. This last time was a hard landing, clearly it was time for me to get off and go home.
What was mildly surprising yet not really was the sense of relief and of freedom I experienced when I called it a day.
No pressures, no unbalanced expectations. . No regrets, no second thoughts.
Not to mention a very happy albeit surprised husband.

~~~~~~~~~~

I was in conversation with an American from Utah a short while ago and it being a balmy 5 degrees Celsius outside ( 41 fahrenheit )  I shed my coat, it was warm outside with the sun shining near blinding a person from the glare off the mounds of snow.
"What is it about you Western Canadians the minute it hits 2 degrees Celsius you declare it 'T-Shirt' season??" he quipped.
Who's going to tell the weenie him shorts and sandals usually come out at 7 degrees. . ?

~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah. . .Onion.
Because that's how I roll.  :-)


May 5, 2015

The day I will die a little



Yesterday consisted of putting on my extra strong 'Momma Cape' and knotting it. Tight.
The day was spent dealing with two VERY sick adult daughters with both living in a different town/city. Put some mileage on I did. 

The eldest, poor sweetheart, has an E.coli infection which is having a HUGE  free for all party in her intestines. As well she had to get her permanent retainer re-cemented. It has NOT been a good day for her since Friday, guaranteeing an ensuing very painful four days. But like her mother/father and sister, she has a very high pain tolerance level. However, it wears a body down fighting this. She's on antibiotics now so fingers crossed, and her retainer not going anywhere. (on a good front, we started her head gear/braces 18 years ago. It's been close to ten years I've been in. Lo and behold, they remembered me. How cool is that! ) 

The youngest, wow. . a day straight from hell.  :-(  She was completely incapacitated by what was the worst migraine she's ever suffered in her life. Since Sunday. Had to rub and massage her head. When she coughed we had to vice her head hard and fast. ( The Fast and Furious? Pffhhhtt we were much faster) Talking was at a whisper, light was her mortal enemy. Her father suffered them, her father's mother suffered them and she was the unlucky one that they passed it on to. I pray like crazy it will skip her daughter. :-( They seen to abate some after the age of 40. And she's so not there yet. sigh.
Today, she feels like she has been hit with a cannon ball in the jaw and temples albeit a different type of pain. One that doesn't make her want to rip out her hair from her scalp, slowly. . just to change the tempo/type of pain. . Yeah, it is that bad to those that don't suffer understand and suffer these debilitating migraines.

At about 4:15 pm I took off my Momma Cape and slapped on my G-ma cape. My little g-baby spent the rest of yesterday and overnight with me as her mother was doing all in her power to break the migraine. 
I made the 'mistake' of taking a couple of hours with a friend to a paint night ( sans wine. BIG mistake. sigh ) where it was obvious I put the day I had down on canvas. It wasn't pretty folks, it truly wasn't. So bad I spent a little while second guessing my creative talents but I've come to understand several things in the process of dealing with it.
Shit happens. I can't be 'on' all the time creatively speaking and I am absolutely rotten at the 'pressure/time' creative flow. I work well solo or with no time constraints.
Much like I shop. lol  Pokey. 

I can tell you, however, it very much hurts a momma still at this point to see her kids suffering so, the girls kept apologizing but it's like I said to them. " The day you stop needing me is the day I will die a little " 
No matter what age, those two will always be my little girls .


Starbucks ( where my youngest works )is calling to me now where I will indulge in a very strong cuppa joe because well. . .I earned it.
Other than that, I'm doing absolutely nada today. Zero. Zip. 

Apr 4, 2015

Paint and Plexiglass

"Life's a great big canvas, throw all the paint you can at it" - Danny Kaye

So challenge #3 in this group I'm in was a self portrait. I have an intense and well known dislike for self portraits. I came up with the idea to print out a photograph of me and paint in on plexiglass with acrylic paint. BOOM! Self portrait done and it didn't hurt too bad. ;-)
But then that self portrait turned into 'The Provencal Women'
All my girls heart emoticon, I believe, were pleased with the outcome.


Mar 21, 2015

A couple of photography challenges


A month or so ago I was invited to join a photography critique group and I jumped at the chance. Winter is not my fav season, and I don't take many pictures. I know I needed a push to get my camera out again to play. I welcome critiques of my work, it does not scare me. . if it's done right. There is a fine art to it and it can be a wicked good learning curve.
Anyhow, there has been two since I joined. The first is
'Mother Nature's Beauty' Here were my 3 submissions.


Titled 'The Arbo's Crescendo'


Titled 'Nature's little water bowls'

Titled 'Dressed to Kill'  


The second challenge allowed me to put on my thinking cap. It is my perception of what I want to portray for the theme.

Challenge #2- 'Home is where the Heart is' -here were my 3 submissions.
The last one was of my grand daughter 'sick' home from school at my house while her mother went to work. Suffice it to say what happens at Namie's stays at Namie's. On an aside, I had trouble with the shadows on her face due to the placement of the sun , as well she was going heck bent for election on the swings. The egg photograph refuses to show itself as it's supposed to be, a lot whiter and brighter. Oh well. 

Titled: 'The pulse of a home beats within the heart of a kitchen'

Titled: 'Where the pin lands the heart follows'

Titled: 'Sick day w/ Namie'





Mar 10, 2015

Musings of This, That and Other Things



Out of the mouth of babes:
A discussion my 7 yr old grand daughter is having with me about training dogs and her plans for having many of them.
(until recently she and her momma lived with us since she was born)
Beah: Yup, I'm going to have many dogs and train them and this is how I'm going to do it. < a 20 minute long one sided animated conversation followed> It ended with her saying she was going to move back in my house to do it.
Me: Beah, you know full well we have 2 dogs and we're not getting anymore.
Beah: Oh don't worry, Namie, I already got that covered. I'm going to wait till you move out or pass away.
Me:



Altruism:
I want to order a case of dictionaries that solely hold the definition of this word. I want to walk up to deserving people and SMACK! them upside the head with said books then the imprint of the definition permanently on their forehead. Oh and afterwards they can keep the book courtesy of me. :-)
Not that I'm violent. . much.

The Karma Bus:
Yeah, she's slow at times but she does come when she's supposed to.
Is it wrong of me to take such enjoyment out of that thought?
Bahhh don't bother answering, it's a rhetorical question.

Silence:
is golden. . till your dog lets a SBD (silent but deadly) one rip and drives you out of the room. Then it's a) ruined the definition and joy of the word and b) the peacefulness of the next three hours is gone while you try to forget that unholy smell. How is a scent like that even possible?!?

Cannabis:
I won't smoke the stuff myself but I would like to try the concentrated oil stuff. I think it would help alleviate some pain in the ass symptoms associated with the menopause thing along with helping to righten my sparkling personality when it starts going sideways. ( a wee bit of sarcasm. I have nowhere near what is a 'sparkling' personality. . I'm no pollyanna but then again I don't bite either. )
I'm out of luck, it's illegal where I live and am told it's hard enough to come by.
Sigh. Oh well, wine it continues to be. ;-)

Flip Flops:
The minute I see the last snowflake melt is the very second I slap those puppies on. I'm sick sore and tired of bending over to put on boots,hikers or runners.
It takes 2 secs to slip into them and I'm out the door. Who the heck wants to bend down all the time to put on stupid footwear? Not I. Even my slippers are flip flops.
Yup. Level of laziness:
Pro.

Out of the mouth of Jackasses:
"Albertans need only look in the mirror to find out who's responsible for the current financial woes"
Politicians: Can't shoot them because well. . it's illegal.
Crap.

Spring.
'Nuff said.
( and yes, I will complain about the heat in the dead of summer )