Nov 24, 2014

My 'Stupid Emotional Upsets and the Fixer Uppers' kinda day.


( and by stupid emotional upset read: Menopausal, lack of sleep, stupid cold hanging around or snow. Choose one though, not all 4 mmmkay? I'm not that unbalanced  )
Stupid emotional upset: Half a tub full of hot water for my bath. Imma gonna hack that stupid hot water tank to bits in a fit, I am.
My fixer upper: Hauled out the weights and went at it. Fu*k you hot water, I'll warm up another way then, you effing persnickety piece of shit.
Stupid emotional upset: Walking up the stairs and bloody well tripping over nota. Not an effing solitary thing. Stupid life long klutz. Usually I laugh at myself but hey. . it's that kind of day, isn't it. . f a c k.
My fixer upper: Watching my neighbour trip and fall in the snow right after. Yeah, I know. . not nice but hey it stroked my bitchy funny bone right to the core.
Stupid emotional upset: Still pissed off about the tub thing. Haven't went at that contraption with a frikken Thor hammer yet. Residual anger for my loss of tub time.
My fixer upper: Took the mutts to the dog park, found out I was over dressed. The simple act of unbuttoning my coat did it. ( read: my denial moment winter's here )
Stupid emotional upset: Not feeling productive be it with my camera or in the kitchen or in any corner or my interests. I think I can blame menopausal on this one.
My fixer upper: Getting another email saying one of my photographs is up for 2014 photograph of the year on that website knowing FULL well I won't win but being considered is right fucking A enough.
My husband gets home tomorrow for a four day stay. That means coffee to wake me up in the am and breakfast out a couple of times.
So starting Wednesday till he travels back on Sunday he's going to be my fixer upper. Like he always is.
Well him and chocolate 

Nov 17, 2014

Sometimes it's the small things. .

When you are able to recognize it's the small things that sometimes make up for a great day. I'll take them. Every time.

Things like:

The dog decides to do his business right beside the garbage bin that's along your walking route. Holy crap! you mean I don't have to walk around with this shit?! ( double pun intended *wink * )

Being half way human again when the meds kick in after your stubborn self gives in and buys them. What a feeling.

The warmth of the sun on your face when you venture outside after being in the deep freeze. Knowing it's not going to last but standing there not caring if your looking like you are having a out of body experience. Cause, baby, warmth like that in this part of the world mid November is out of this world.

Coming downstairs looking forward to that happy place that caffeine kick will bring you to and finding out your daughter has supper in the slow cooker. Double. Freakin. Win.

Finding out your hubby is checking out plane tickets to your fav place in Canada, just before the insanity of Christmas, even if we might not be able to go. . ? Good enough for me and fingers crossed.

Stepping on the scale and it telling you another pound bit the dust. Hell ya,  I'll take that. . and try not to go eat all. things. carbs.  ( 9 lbs down but who's counting. . . hello? Heck, I AM!  ha ha )

Having a 2 week daily headache ease.

Your daughter coming home surprising you with your new favourite coffee cup. Finding out it'll hold more and, let's be honest, make it taste better somehow. Woot!

Sitting back and watching both your daughters's lives righten some and level out. A reprieve from the constant deep down hurting a mother will < sometimes not so > silently suffer.
This is not such a small thing, it is, however, one that very much matters.

Nailing a Christmas gift for the guy who we attach ALL receipts to his gifts to because we know he'll be returning all of them. The world's hardest person to shop for, don't try to tell me different. But hell ya, I got that boy a great one. Patting myself on the back. ( till one of the kids comes up and takes it out from underneath me because he is, and I repeat myself, the hardest person to shop for )


And there you have it, just some of the things that gives me the warm fuzzies.
What about you? What makes your day? Small big, weird, funny. . share won't you?



My new fav coffee cup! Appeals to my java lovin' Scottish heart. Aye.





Nov 6, 2014

One more before I burrow in.



One more Autumn photograph before I burrow in for the cold winter months.
I feel sadness at the passing of what was arguably the longest autumn on record.
Sigh.
Stay warm, Peeps, winter is at our doorstep. Especially here in Western Canada. 


Oct 18, 2014

For Today


For Today

Outside my window...
I am looking at the waning light. The days are short, the geese are flying and that is all things bad to me. Winter is at my door step once more. But not any old winter, we're told to expect the 'T-Rex' of winters.
Oh joy. Oh so not. 

I am thinking...
of the ocean. And how much I want to be walking along the shore of the pacific one right now. 

I am thankful for...
my husband. Always.   
    
From the Kitchen...
my heritage bubbled in the pot for 4 hours. My daughter made some of the best cretons we've made to date. My grand baby can eat that stuff by the fork full. Give me toast with butter and you just pass me that stuff my way, thank you very much. 

I am wearing...
I am starting to hate this question. Let's just say I am wearing the usual ' at home and don't rightly give a shit what I look like' attire. Savvy?

I am creating...
I gots nuthin', Peeps. Nuthin'.
  
I am going...
to get my flu shot this week. After last winter's H1N1 crap, I'm not inclined to revisit that type of sickness again. Ever. 

I am reading...
I am reading with my new 'water' kobo!  Oooh yeahhh, colour me happy :-D. ( the new H20 kobo, drop it in the tub and ppffhhhtt no prob, Bob, it's water safe. Ha! (not that I have ever dropped anything in the tub. I am terrified of doing it but there's a comfort in knowing if I did, my e-reader would survive intact ) 

I am hoping...
For a successful operation my husband will probably have to undergo just before Christmas. I'm not sure how I'll manage it while they have him under. Really strong coffee? Damn it, I wish it was over already. :-( 

I am hearing...
One of the dogs snore. Which he's now perfected to sound like my husband. How the hell does a dog manage that anyways?? 

Around the house...
Meh. . nothing exciting. Waiting for the permit to build the garage out back. Just what hubby needs to keep him busy. . 

One of my favourite things...
Coffee meets where your peeps put down the cell phones and keep them that way!
Wha. .??  Yup. Truth.

A few plans for the week...
Not too sure. I downloaded over 70 hours of photographic video. Watching a part of them would be a safe bet.
   
Here is a picture I thought worth sharing...

These 3 might have given me the white hairs I not so proudly sport but they flat out rock my world. 


Sep 11, 2014

I am honestly curious. .


I am honestly curious. .

I've been having an ongoing conversation with my youngest daughter about the point in your life when you decide to call it quits.To just let it go.
She's struggling with a few issues she is having trouble working through. Justifiable ones in my opinion,putting aside I'm her mother. There comes a point, I told her,where you KNOW you are done, you understand you are at the point where there is nothing to hang on to, nothing left to try to fix.

To a friend of mine, all it took was one line. In text. No more than eight words. BOOM! It was done. She was finally free and quite giddy on the power of closure. I am so very very happy for her because in letting go, she found herself again.
How much more of a great 'ending/ restart' is that, I ask.

I think as one gets older that 'limit' gets considerably shorter. Time speeds up at a ridiculously stoopid rate and my limit is much much shorter than someone 20 years my junior. And that's the glorious beauty of being my age, I have nothing to prove to anybody, I don't have to take what I don't want and I well recognize my worth. I am worthy of getting back the effort I put in and I flat out won't settle for less.

~~~~~~~~~~

I am honestly curious. .

How do you deal with change? Some take it like a pro, others fall apart. Me? I've had enough of it to learn to go with the flow. Finally.
Doesn't mean I willingly embrace it all the time. Sometimes I want to build a blanket fort, take my crayons and paper in and nail a no trespassing' sign to the chairs holding up my blankies.
Other times I long for it. Life's getting short and I need a good shake up now and then.
But I'd like to think I'm pretty well balanced. The good, the great, the mediocre and even the fugly shit.

~~~~~~~~~~

I am honestly curious. .

Can I take your word for it? Is it as good as a signed contract? You would like to think so, wouldn't  you. . I will tell you that it is a rare thing these days. I am not sure how a person goes about carelessly throwing out , " For SURE you can count on me" and not give another thought to it. Holy crap, that right there drives me around the bend. Well, until recently if truth be told.  It took me a long time but I'm learning to lower my expectations in things. ( My mom always told me I expected too much from people, she was right on some levels.)
This year, however, seems to be a year of change. After a huge (and final) disappointment(those pesky expectations of mine once again) I made a promise to myself (and my husband) and I followed through on it. A promise to him alone would be the driving force but it was as equally important to me personally to follow through.
If you know me in RL, you know when I say something you can take it to the bank. After all, a big fat bank account is much more satisfying than an empty unused/unfed one.
It's the old adage, 'If you talk the talk, walk the walk'

~~~~~~~~~~

I am honestly curious. .

Can you go into your Facebook and cull your 'friends' list? For every 100 people on your list can you delete 5? I have routinely done this every six month or so in the last 2 years and I'm at a point where I am comfortable with who's there. It's happened to me that I've gotten requests and I've sent out a hello. Upon not being rated high enough for a response, I promptly deleted those people.
Again, life is too short for nosy/rude peeps.
So. . can you? Delete 5 for every 100 on there? lol Good luck with that. ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~

I am honestly curious. .

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