It all started with, "Hi, you're new here?"

I know, I know, right?  How rude!
Well, actually no, not really. It's the norm for a relationship that has spanned 35 years. (give or take a couple of years? Memory really sucks. Ask her, she'll tell you the exact number. Memory like a freakin' elephant.

Her name is Donna. A.K.A My lifelong bestie.

How do I even begin to describe her?
Here's a few descriptions without getting tooooo mushy, she'd backhand me one if I did, just like I would her.

Short (she's in perfect range of your kneecaps. G'head. .piss her off, I dare ya)
Mouthy (as only a frenchman can get)
Game (always willing to help hide my bodies ha ha)
Funny (if you are into dork ass dumb humor. For Pete's sake, she laughs at the stupidest things. I envy her. I need more sarcastic,darker. . stuff. Like if you get a flat tire on your wheelchair, I'll laugh at you. I'll help you but I'll laugh first)
Loyal to the 9th degree (yeah, we've got each other's and our family's backs)
Fucking beautiful. ( which I don't hate her for. She's completely unaware of her looks, the cow)

These are just to name a few. All delievered with luuuuv, baby!

Aaaad here's where I get a wee bit serious. . . sigh.
Oh you don't like when I get serious? Aww Muffin,it won't last too long. . there, there.

To go that far back to where we started, you'd have to either hypnotize and regress me or give me the Matrix's reality altering little pill.
I can,by some miracle however, tell you the first time I saw her.
New to school. Shy, reddened easily. Yeah, I played with that like a cat plays with a mouse. The levels of red she turned were facinating and entertaining. ( now I can't even get her to blush if I did a strip tease in public, it's what she'd expect from me. Not that I'd ever do it but you get my drift.)
It was was par for the course for me in highscool, I always went to seek out the newbies. I knew how much I hated that feeling of being the new kid on the block, actutely aware of the stares. The embarrassment of a percieved wrong move or word, being picked on by idiot bullies. . I've been on the recieving end of that. So I did my best to ease it for some. Not that I was Miss Popularity but I knew the sheer terror being new and I honestly hurt for them. If they had at least one friend to start, the rest of who they would become friends with would follow. It was just up to them after that.
Only her and I gelled. For life. Who'da thunk it?! Shy and beautiful her, ugly with glasses and acned faced me.

To even try to put into words what we've been to each other, I'd need to be an award winning writer. Which I'm not. But I'll give 'er the old college try. ( which I never went to, by the way)

We've been each other's rocks, support system, sounding boards, arm chair shrinks, united stubborn headed fronts, evil mothers in unison. Yet we've been there for each other's kids when they needed someone other than their mothers. ( I'm SO the cooler one. Bwahaha)
And that's just off the top of my head.
(You can bet when we get to heaven, we're so going to have a cloud house side by each. After we sneak into St. Pete's leger book and erase a few . . ahh things behind his back. *wink*  Look for her, she'll probably have a bigger set of wings, the goody two shoes.)

The cherry on the cake has to be, and I've NO idea how the hell I'm going to top her, frikken frikken frikken her already, when she surprised me and showed up in my home for my 50th birthday.
Across the country, where we live apart from each other. And I had no idea, even if both our families knew. Throw in extended members, sisters, cousins, uncles, fathers, heck, even my 5 yr old spitfire knew and she never snitched!

If you're on my facebook, you've seen the link. I am in absolute shock, I can't even wrap my head around her in my kitchen. What the hell was she doing here across the country?? No way. . not possible! ( I'd moved away 20 years ago. I go down yearly, even if I don't see her every time. But this was the first time she'd been up. How's that for love, eh?!! )
Hope your computer's not a dinosaur and you can view this. And yes, I did the 'ugly face cry'.

By the way, you'll notice I've a slight thing for back home Montreal style bagels. :-P

Anyhow, there you have it. A love and friendship that has spanned most of our lives and will continue on to the next, where ever that may be.

Love ya mega, D.G. ❤❤❤
And sure as shit, I'm going to find a way to top you. I'm not letting you wear that crown alone,baby. Pffhhttt

Musings ( read: bitching ) of This, That and Other Things

I will be honest with you. It's a rare day to find me wandering into MacDonald's to eat. It's a waste of food and money really. For starters I always throw away top of the grilled chicken bun. The part that holds the mayo with shredded bits of lettuce. Gone. I can't eat all those yummy fries either, the salt burns the inside of my mouth. (The salt shaker is a lonely thing in my house.) I know. . . high end whiner, right? Well no BUT the times I do venture in I make sure I enjoy each and every bite. 

But after last weekend it'll be a loooong while before I go back, before my stomach lets me go back.
We decided to go into the Rocky Mountains for a quick over nighter. ( read: running away from home for a sanity break ) We stopped in to Mickey D's for a fast lunch on the go but there's no seating. It's a) lunch hour (at freakin' Mickey D's off all places to stop, sheesh ) and b) it's always tourist season there. 

So, no problem, we went back to the truck to eat. It was a nice warm'ish'ish day, the sun was shining and we were within view of mountains older than the dinosaurs.
We were minding our own, scarfing enjoying our lunch, the cars coming and going. I am a people watcher so I was very content watching the comings and goings. Better entertainment here than in the insanity of a full fast food joint complete with wailing babies.
Aaand then that's when it went south. 'Buddy' parked his car, stepped out and stream spit right in front of my truck. You know the kind, his mouth puckered up, the muscles of his throat working to bring it from deep down, his chest drawing in air to add torque to the final launch.
ShitpissFRACK. Oh. My. GOD.  GROSS.
Ooohh I felt my stomach roll.
And he did it AGAIN!
I can't wrap my head around the level of disrespect it takes to do that in front of a lady. And, yes, I consider myself one. Or at least I was brought up with manners. Some of which included not to spit out in public among people. Or launch a snot rocket, and I've had that done in front of me too. Geezus. 

HURK! Oh shit, there went my gag reflex. I worked to tamper in down. Damn it, I wanted to eat the rest of my lunch. ARGH.  

I got through that unpleasentry and a few minutes later up drove another car, five young adults piled out. From my astute observations, they were not long awake. Stretching and bed heads all around. I grinned, memories of my own hangover days of long long ago. Well actually I was laughing because they looked very hungover.
' Uhohhh, she's not gonna make 'er ' I heard hubby laugh. 

And sure as I was sitting there in full view, a female bent over heaving like a cat dislodging a hairball. My brain shouted to look down/around/gawd damn well behind me. Anywhere but her. But no, no siree, my eyes decided to lock in. She projectile vomited last night's liquid in great copious amounts, wiped her mouth and walked into the restaurant like nothing happened. . . ?
Fack. Fack. FUCK. You've got to be kidding me.
And that was it, I was done. I swallowed and sucked in air fighting to keep my lunch down. I drank the rest of my drink in one swallow. I swallowed some more.
Lunch was ruined. My 'once in a blue moon happy fries' moment was turning over in my stomach.
Stupid disgusting little bitch.
We gathered everything up, gave the area a wide berth and went to the fartherst garbage. I was terrified of seeing and or stepping or worse yet slipping her pile of puke.I wanted out.of.there. 

And what's the last thing we saw as we drove out?
Some lady bent over with the crack of her ass in proud display.
Awesome. Just fracking awesome.

We all know the popularity of iPhones, I have the iPhone 5 myself, and yes, I like it. A lot. I am somewhat of a Macintosh whore. I have a couple of iPads, a Mac Desktop, a Mac laptop along with my cell. You can blame my mother for that, she's been working Apple products since early '80s. I followed suit. 

Anyhow, here we are out and about for breakfast, it's early and the sun rise is promising to be a pretty one. I am in view of a lovely framed window, the clouds are parting and the sun is coming through. So I whip out my cell, I'm going to get a picture of this. I position my cell so it doesn't include in the back of the head of an incredibly loud and very snotty woman sitting at the table infront of us. ( all you could hear was her talking loudly of all the trips she had taken and the airlines she flew and blah blah brag brag brag blah blah. ) One of her breakfast companions must of said something to her because she whipped her head around and gave me the dirtiest look I think I've ever gotten. She turned back around and shook her head.
And me, well me being me before I could stop my mouth, fired back, 'What is your problem?'
( I try to watch my mouth and reactions when I'm out with Rick. Out of respect to him, I really don't give a shit when I'm out by myself lol )
That snotty piece of work didn't have the balls to face me back so I made a big production about taking the picture, going as far as to step out and in front of their table to take the photograph.
I mentioned something to the waitress afterwards, she told me this woman was the type that nothing was good enough. Ohh I knew/know the type, honey, I used to waitress. 

In thruth she wasn't photogenic in the least and was far less interesting than that gorgeous sunrise. Pompass ass self serving cow.

Speaking of waitresses, my daughter and I must of went through one of the most awkward meals out we ever had had the misfortune to go through a few months ago. We had a waitress hang around chatting up a storm while we ate. WTH?? Go away. Like ten minutes ago.
We haven't been back since and are leary to do so. What a weird (lonely?) girl she was. What an uncomfortable meal that was. It's like having a stranger walk into your house in the middle of your meal and converse with you. I'm normally more abrubt in situations like that but for some reason, she was a wee bit pathetic in her whole demeanor/conversation. And hey, I can be a bitch but I'm not mean.

On a lighter note, there is something so comical about a drunk sometimes. The affable kind that stand outside the bar door singing away, happy as lark. So he couldn't sing for his supper but he sang like no one was watching. Which judging by his level of sobriety, I'm not sure he could see all that much in front of him anyways. It made me laugh, bringing up memories of my father in law when he reached a certain level of 'buzz'. Couldn't sing worth shit but always tried to give Johnny Cash a run for his money. And loudly at that. lol

What about you, my bloggy pals, what are your musings and thoughts?