Jan 27, 2013

Open Letters. The 'Ever' edition.



Dear Peeps,
Raise the bar a little, mmkay? QUIT taking cell phone pics of yourselves in bathrooms already.
Try this idea: Find a friend ( if you have any. . ? If not get a stranger to do it, most are willing FYI) and have them take a pic. Puuleeassee.
Signed
Don't need see what your grooming area looks like. Ever.

Dear little honey,
Umm how to put this. . . your 'wanna be woman but still a dumb little teenager coming off looking like a paid whore' outfit did. not. work. You are at a movie theatre so why the black tights with strapped up pale grey'ish stilettos? Complimented ( in the case NOT ) with a blinged out dico silver top and a pilled out skirt that has seen better days? Your noodle blond and flat black hair warred. Greatly.
Signed
Someone smack your momma for letting you go out in public. Ever.

Dear 50
Bwahahaha I survived you. (. . .barely ) Kiss my '50 is the new 40' ass (sorry can't bring it down to 30, ain't going back there, baby!)
Signed
Last birthday celebrated. Ever.

Dear Biggest Loser,
I'm just not that into you this year. Sorry.
Signed
Not a healthy way to lose. Ever.

Dear Ms $$ Bags,
Talk the talk all ya want, but honey? You can't back your shit up to save your life.
By the way if you want to carry it off, don't shop at rock bottom discount places, k?
Signed,
Walk the walk, baby, or don't brag. Ever.

Dear Winter,
It's been since October. You just show up whenever and always always over stay your welcome.
Signed,
Will never like you. Ever.                              

Jan 18, 2013

For Today



For Today

Outside my window... 
It's the 18th day of the new year. And that's 18 days closer to spring. Boo Frikken Ya.

I am thinking...
About my camera. That I've not used since December. I'm actually mourning it. Stupid, right? Nah, not really. . you got to have a love of photography to get it. Wicked trigger finger. . .

I am thankful for...
Wine. Always so thankful for that. *wink*
    
From the Kitchen...
I'm going to make pasta. It's a carbs kinda day. 

I am wearing...
My workout clothes I've yet to find the time to change out of. Hence the carb day. Momma's not stupid. muahahha 

I am creating...
Not creating per-say but working on my husband's bday gift. That I doubt I'll get finished by March 31st. What was I thinking??!
  
I am going...
To go by one of those S.A.D. lamps. Before I jump off our famously HUGE snowbanks. Or kick everyone out of my house. 

I am reading...
Nothing. Because my fav authors are on break apparently. ALL of them. Do they get together and collectively agree to let us hang during the winter months? You writers suck. 

I am hoping...
This post doesn't sound to whiney or bitchy. Working hard to reign it in, peeps. Appreciate. 

I am hearing...
Nothing. As in NO ONE is here. Suweet Geezus, miracles happen! What ever shall I do? Strip down and dance nekked? I don't trust my nosy neighbours to be sitting in the window with binoculars. Freaks. 
Sing like no one's listening? When I said no one was here, I mean humans. My singing will probably get the dogs howlin'. Unappreciative little shits. 
Bah, screw that. I'll just sit here listening to the quiet and wait till 3 o'clock rolls around. Then it's wine time, which is like in 5 minutes Woot! ( I have a personal thing with myself, I don't have a drink before 3, dunno why. But I've always stuck to it. 

Around the house...
I'm marking what I'm going to be sticking in the 5th wheel we want to purchase when the R.V. show rolls into town.
Hurry up already. 

One of my favourite things... ( to do in the winter ) 
When the sun comes out and I stretch out on my bed, falling asleep in the sun rays. It gives me hope Spring will come again. 

A few plans for the week...
The week's done. I'll be happier after next week is finished. Specifically Tuesday. When I turn 50. Frack. Damn. Crap. Lord, gimme the strength to accept it with grace and if not then make sure NO one's within smackin' distance. I have no clue how I'll be. Consider yourself warned. 

Here is a picture I thought worth sharing...

Why could I have NOT been born with hair like this?