Because that's how I roll

You say tomata I say onion. 

I'm different that way. 

Tell me if you've heard this before:

"My life is so. freakin'. great"
"I did this and that ,went here and there and I own many material things "
"I have purrrfect children/husband/house/neighbours/day/life"
 blah blah blah
 I usually last about 5 minutes in to this type of convo. My eyes glaze over and I'm mentally smashing my head against a brick wall. Or I'm watching the spider and the fly duelling it to the death. Or my attention is drawn to the man ( like watching a bad reality show)  picking his disgusting nose wondering if he got the gold.
Anything but this.
Yes your road is paved smooth, yes God is good, even if the only time you ever give thanks to above is when something good happens ( a pet peeve of mine but that's another post for another day ) Yes yes yes you are scads above peons like me.
Seriously though? Yawn. And I mean YAWNNNNN
Perfection - be it someone's dandelion free lawn ( how do those Martha Stewarts do it??! ) to competing against the Joneses - in my world takes way to much effort and time out of well. . life.
Come on over and check out my front lawn, ( bring coffee, ya? ) I have a mini jungle out there. My bees have pollenated the next four lawns over ha ha although I don't think my neighbours feel all that  appreciative about it. And if you know me in RL you know I'm the first to laugh at and take a wee bit of glory in my imperfections. Takes me off any pedestal others choose to live on. When someone like me is on terra firma one doesn't have far to fall already.
Truth.
I'd rather all the twists, turns and sudden drop offs I've encountered in my time with the roads I've chosen and decisions I've made.

Below is pretty much me in the front row only reined back a wee bit otherwise I'd be those two combined. Woot!

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I was talking to a friend about a situation she's currently struggling with, . the loss of a 2nd (3rd?) friendship within a year.
I maintain if you haven't lost a friend in the last year or so you aren't growing in any way, shape or direction. We change, we move on. What fed our requirements of a friendship then might not hold water now.
She'll eventually become more selective. . coming to understand quality over quantity. Time, my friend. . it adds a sheen of 'I don't give a shit' rather nicely.  :-)

~~~~~~~~~

A broken promise and a promise kept. That's what it took for me to walk away from a long term friendship. As in Rome, the friendship wasn't built in a day and the dismantling of it wasn't done in one either. Ties to unravel, baby steps in walking away with the hopes of minimizing the strife/drama/hurt. It took a year but I managed to walk away without a huge rift shifting anyone's foundations. Or at least, I hope.

I take pride in the promises I make, I come from 'my word is my contract' stock. We raised our daughters to be the same. So when I promised my husband I'd walk away if a promise made to me was broken  I made good and sure I held true to my word. (he had called it from the get go, I had argued it > this time was going to be different and well. . . you know where this is going. Yup. .it went all the way south.)
At odd times I get upset at myself for having given much more than I received. But that one's on me as we always had a choice, right?  Still though an unbalanced see-saw isn't much fun to play on when one keeps landing on the ground over and over. This last time was a hard landing, clearly it was time for me to get off and go home.
What was mildly surprising yet not really was the sense of relief and of freedom I experienced when I called it a day.
No pressures, no unbalanced expectations. . No regrets, no second thoughts.
Not to mention a very happy albeit surprised husband.

~~~~~~~~~~

I was in conversation with an American from Utah a short while ago and it being a balmy 5 degrees Celsius outside ( 41 fahrenheit )  I shed my coat, it was warm outside with the sun shining near blinding a person from the glare off the mounds of snow.
"What is it about you Western Canadians the minute it hits 2 degrees Celsius you declare it 'T-Shirt' season??" he quipped.
Who's going to tell the weenie him shorts and sandals usually come out at 7 degrees. . ?

~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah. . .Onion.
Because that's how I roll.  :-)

The day I will die a little

Yesterday consisted of putting on my extra strong 'Momma Cape' and knotting it. Tight.
The day was spent dealing with two VERY sick adult daughters with both living in a different town/city. Put some mileage on I did. 

The eldest, poor sweetheart, has an E.coli infection which is having a HUGE  free for all party in her intestines. As well she had to get her permanent retainer re-cemented. It has NOT been a good day for her since Friday, guaranteeing an ensuing very painful four days. But like her mother/father and sister, she has a very high pain tolerance level. However, it wears a body down fighting this. She's on antibiotics now so fingers crossed, and her retainer not going anywhere. (on a good front, we started her head gear/braces 18 years ago. It's been close to ten years I've been in. Lo and behold, they remembered me. How cool is that! ) 

The youngest, wow. . a day straight from hell.  :-(  She was completely incapacitated by what was the worst migraine she's ever suffered in her life. Since Sunday. Had to rub and massage her head. When she coughed we had to vice her head hard and fast. ( The Fast and Furious? Pffhhhtt we were much faster) Talking was at a whisper, light was her mortal enemy. Her father suffered them, her father's mother suffered them and she was the unlucky one that they passed it on to. I pray like crazy it will skip her daughter. :-( They seen to abate some after the age of 40. And she's so not there yet. sigh.

Today, she feels like she has been hit with a cannon ball in the jaw and temples albeit a different type of pain. One that doesn't make her want to rip out her hair from her scalp, slowly. . just to change the tempo/type of pain. . Yeah, it is that bad to those that don't suffer understand and suffer these debilitating migraines.

At about 4:15 pm I took off my Momma Cape and slapped on my G-ma cape. My little g-baby spent the rest of yesterday and overnight with me as her mother was doing all in her power to break the migraine. 

I made the 'mistake' of taking a couple of hours with a friend to a paint night ( sans wine. BIG mistake. sigh ) where it was obvious I put the day I had down on canvas. It wasn't pretty folks, it truly wasn't. So bad I spent a little while second guessing my creative talents but I've come to understand several things in the process of dealing with it.
Shit happens. I can't be 'on' all the time creatively speaking and I am absolutely rotten at the 'pressure/time' creative flow. I work well solo or with no time constraints.
Much like I shop. lol  Pokey. 

I can tell you, however, it very much hurts a momma still at this point to see her kids suffering so, the girls kept apologizing but it's like I said to them. " The day you stop needing me is the day I will die a little " 

No matter what age, those two will always be my little girls .

Starbucks ( where my youngest works )is calling to me now where I will indulge in a very strong cuppa joe because well. . .I earned it.
Other than that, I'm doing absolutely nada today. Zero. Zip.