Fare thee well, 2012.

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So closes yet another year. . .
And I have no idea where it went :-(

I can't say 2012 has been a tough year, I've barely seen it go by.
But what have I been doing since last January?  Sticking my head in the sand, ignoring the general population life?
Where'd it go??

If I was to highlight the events I remember of this year, (which, really, is the whole point of this post) it would go something like this:

One of them, rather one of the more emotional of the year was finding someone after searching for 32 years. . The effects of which I'm still feeling. I get sad from time to time but I also have the ability to draw on long ago memories and take pleasure from it. Which is weird given I have trouble calling up the past for the most part.

Another emotional one was the day I said goodbye to a sweet and dear friend. How I still miss him so.

Yet I've had the absolute pleasure in reconnecting with my past. High school friends of long ago met up for such an enjoyable weekend. It still surprises me how much fun I had and what I took from it.

In the last six months I've watched my daughters take huge steps in their lives. For the better and I couldn't ask for more. It's been a difficult process watching them reach a point where change had to happen but it wasn't me navigating, they were in the drivers's seats.
But now I hold witness to the outcome of these decisions and choices. I've seen changes in both of them, both big and small. Their confidence has upped and they 'have a plan'.
What better gift can a mother ask for?

The last two months of this year I took myself to task. Rotten time to do it, doncha think? Christmas around the bend and here I am counting calories. That's so me, never taking the easy road. But I had to, I had to start caring about 'me' again. And it's been tough, let me tell you. It's so much easier to stop giving a crap about my hair, what I'm wearing, what I'm eating. And by the way, Wow! who'da thunk it was this easy to emotionally eat!? I've never, in all my years, had any trouble with it and 15 lbs later I've put a stop to it. Trouble is, at my age 15 lbs to lose is like 30 to a 20/30 year old. It'll take time and bloody hard work. A revved up metabolism for pre-menopausal women is almost non existent. Because you know. . we've not yet paid our dues in full. Why not pack on the pounds, lose sleep every single night and look like it. Aaaand they wonder why we're a tad cranky at this stage of the game. .
Oh well Rome wasn't built in a day. Those 15 lbs weren't put on in one either.
So here I go, pound by pound, I will slay that number 15. Might take me most of the year but damn it, I'm going to do it just to prove to myself I can. (And if I don't, ohhhh welllll I'm way past beating myself up over things like this. And I'll celebrate whatever it is I've lost. )

Really though, in retrospect I really don't have to search my almost non existent memory for this year's highlights. What matters most to me is my year ends with my three girls and my hubby healthy & happy and me not institutionalized. ( Ahhh some days I tell ya. . *wink* )

In closing I'm not sure what 2013 will bring but hey! Game on, baby!

Pssst- To the powers that be, just throw in some nice surprises here and there.. for shits and giggles, mmkay?

Happy New Year to you my Peeps.
Hopefully 2013 will bring you some shits and giggles too :-)

xo
Jamie