March's 'Open Letters'

Dear Me, 

After the treadmill, 105 pushups, 105 jump squats, weights and planks, you can have your cake & eat it too. Which in this case was a burger. With fries.
Signed, 
I ate every last bite.


Dear New Zealand 
Seriously? You removed a beautiful picture of a father bottle feeding his child because the tarded zealots of the breastfeeding society had a problem with it?? Are you frikken kidding me? Would you like to come in this neck of the woods and deal with the dead beat dads we have?
Signed, 
Get your head out of your grossly egotistical asses


Dear Adult Children Of Mine,
Let me tell you what will happen if I wake up to no milk for my coffee again. #1 You will be warned. Suck up the meltdown I'm about to have all over your assess.
#2 If this should happen again, I will help you pack and show you to the door.
Signed, 
The pinnacle of Pissed Off in Zero point Six seconds.

Dear March, 
I have a trip planned at the end of the month. For six days. Away from my everyday life. Hurry the hell up, I'm in need of a removal of myself from my current daily.. crap. 
Signed
I need a break. Or a drink. Or several. Breaks and drinks, that is.


Dear Camera, 
Why hello there beautiful. It's been a while. I'm glad to make your acquaintance again.
Signed,
I got your back. 
( HA HA get it? Back? As in looking through the lens at the back? HA HA damn I'm funny )

Dear Breakfast,
Why can't you make yourself?
Signed,
Lazy and Famished


Dear Wardrobe,
Time for change. Off with the old, on with the new. :-)  Now..who's going to warn my husband I'm about to spend some of his hard earned moulah? 
Signed, 
Buh-Bye Cha-Ching, hello very pretty new clothes.