June's 'Open Letters'

Dear Neighbour,

Let's Google 'neighbourhood parking etiquette' shall we? And while you're at it Google 'good neighbour etiquette'. Please. No really.. you might learn something. Like what a complete asshole you truly are.

Signed, 

Advocate for country living or 8 foot fences, whichever comes first.

Dear Vet,

Make me an appointment for my dog. I would like his vocal cords removed. Immediately. 

Signed,

Fed up & deaf. 

Dear Horoscope, 

I get I have to be more social and not close myself off but it's a tad bit of a challenge when one is constantly put face to face with self serving peoples. Where have all the good ones gone? Can someone find me somebody who can play nice... anyone? Hello?? 

Hmm it's echoing in here. Weird.

Signed, 

I'm ready to play nice

Dear Cigarette, 

I miss you. Terribly. I wish you were not a bad influence on me. I left you close to 20 years ago but I've missed you.. always. Today I could of really used that calming ability you have about you. But I know if I let you back in I will be stuck like glue to you, my lungs will revolt and you'll be the death of me. 

But today, today Dear Cigarette, I so miss you. 

Signed, 

Your ex BFF

Dear Cheese Pleasers, 

You are banned from my house from this day forward. 

Signed,

Taking a stand 

(Chocolate, you stay. Non debatable issue.)

Dear Person in the Political Pubic eye, 

Excuse me for a moment but Laugh Out Loud , you posted a picture of your mostly naked dumb ass self to twitter. By mistake? That stuff only works in Hollywood. Word of advice, stay away from social media sights. Not your thing, moron. But I hear Joe Boxer is looking for underwear models.

Signed, 

Another one bites the dust. 

Dear Big Brother 13

Hurry up and get here already. You've been gone a whole year and I need some of the entertainment only you can provide. I hope this year's a gooder. ( yup, I just said 'gooder'. Deal. ) Here's to July 7th!

Signed,

BB Groupie