Banish thee from my home.

Things I wish were not in my house.

Candyland
-The inventor should be banished to a remote island with every last copy of that stupid game. But then again he/she can probably afford to buy the fracking island now.

Cats and Dogs.
-Puke, hair balls and poop. There has to be more to life, there just has to.

Toys smaller than a fat rat.
- Guaranteed I will step on it and teach my 4 yr old lil spitfire words she's not quite ready to learn.

Chocolate.
-The devil's food. It tempts you into submission and puts you at it's beck and call.

Refrigerator with two doors side by each.
-Useless as freaking football bat. I have one. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

A gazillion material grocery bags.
-Seriously. I keep forgetting them and buying more. I have enough for three families. With six members each.

A doorbell with a four year old living in the house.
-She knows it sends the blasted dogs barking. She does it for entertainment. Personally I think she's plotting the demise of my sanity.

A sump pump.
- It'll be a cold day in hell when I look in that deep hole to see if it's working properly. I know what happens, something evil in there lurks..waiting to grab me by the throat and devour me.

A kitchen table.
-I mean, what for??? It's just a flat surface for everyone's crap. We never eat on it. Ever. There's no room to.

A Premenopausal woman
-A danger to those that live under the same roof. In my case that's 2 daughters, 1 grand daughter, two dogs & two cats. Hubby's a frikken coward. He saves his ass by going away to work for 2 or 3 weeks at a time, leaving said premenopausal women with the whole damn enchilada.

A shortage of wine.
- Refer to above statement.

So, my bloggy pals, what shall we banish from your house?