Aug 29, 2011

Musings of This, That and Other Things




Pedestrians have the right of way,I get that. I just don't get joggers. Here they come barreling across the marked pedestrian crossings and don't push the  warning signal.  That's right, Sugar, I have x-ray vision and can see you flying out from behind trees and light standards to which my very heavy vehicle can stop right.now.
I don't get their line of thinking. They figure they are stronger than kryptonite? They are above the crosswalk laws? They figure they'll just bounce off my Jeep and keep jogging if I can't stop on time? 
They drive me crazy.
I think some of them are also like some church people; dress the part to see and be seen. On Sundays. While the rest of the week they are doing things decidedly unrelated to what they 'preach'.
Yeah.. I know, I'm not a nice person.



Aother huge pet peeve of mine? Being honked at from behind while waiting to make a safe left hand turn  sends me through the stratosphere, instantly. 
Hey, Asshole, I'm trying to turn safely, climb over top of me if I'm ruining your life.
I have to physically work to calming myself down, it pisses me off that bad. And I won't tell you how I sometimes react. 

Breath, Jamie, breath...


I'm respectful and aware of my surroundings but it drives me batty when others seem to think they own the very air we breath. I also know the days I shouldn't be out on the road and I generally try to do everyone a favor and stay off it. But this city is an amazing display of egos, carelessness and disregard for human life,theirs and mine. And here I taught both girls to drive in it, barely. 


I got frustrated a few days ago and deleted one of my blog posts. Honestly? Why do so many people search 'skinny old women in bathing suits'??? I had downloaded that picture off the internet because it applied to my post I was writing about.
It has been an ongoing search within my stats. Got tired of it so I chucked it.
If truth be told I don't want to know why you are looking up old ladies in thong bikinis. Truly. Really. Don't.




I posted this on Facebook the other day, I'll throw it over here too.
There are certain expressions that grate me like nails on chalkboard. Words like 'hellz' and 'lolz'. Overusage of the word 'Epic' . My daughter uses 'Nom Nom Nom' because she knows it bugs me. I have a few more but I'll pass this on to you. What are your back teeth gnashing words? 



Another FB status. ( Last week was a long one, I was all over it. Normally I cruise in and out. Come find me on Facebook if you so take the notion. Just let me know who you are as I don't normally accept requests from unknown names! ) 
I'm in the midst of adding recipes to the family cookbook, a long overdue task I've put off for a year or three for a while now. I've come to realize I'm so used to the keyboard that I can only write out two or three recipes a day before my hand cramps up. Long gone are the days I used to write pages of stories or handed in chapters of hand written assignments in school.
This makes me feel melancholy for some odd reason and in a real way, old....er . ( *wink* )





What about you, my bloggy friends, what are your musings of the day?

Aug 26, 2011

For Today



For Today


Outside my window...
I feel the seasons contemplating change through the cool morning air. This is when I'm most energized.. content. 

I am thinking...
about the passing of a well loved political figure. I don't follow politics.. much, but he was such a charismatic man. We lost a good one. Journey well, Jack.  " My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. "  

I am thankful for...
Attitude. Karma. Food, wine and belly laughs. People with no hidden agendas, fires at night. Spontaneous road trips. Daughters, grand daughters, sisters, mothers..

From the Kitchen...
I am writing out favorite recipes in the cookbook my girls will get after I win the lotto and hire a personal chef, in my new house in the Cayman Islands.
Off my planet, this is my fantasy :-P

I am wearing...
my usual summer attire but I am looking very much forward to getting in my 'comfort zone' (as my daughter calls it) again. Heavier clothes, hoodies, hmm maybe new runners. 

I am creating...
a memento, of sorts. Some pictures I've taken to share with family over the holidays.

I am going...
Stir. Freaking. Crazy.

I am reading...
all my typos. Impressive. Apparently my fingers aren't playing nice with the keyboard today. Or my brain is on hiatus. 

I am hoping...
for a longgggggg drawn out Autumn. For once.

I am hearing...
the coyotes howling.. such a haunting musical melody.

Around the house...
I see order and clean. Ahhh my daughter's an awesome one to shine up my house when she's ocd'ing. ;-)

One of my favorite things...
is losing a pound or two, even if I gain it back. I can still lose it. Boo Ya.

A few plans for the week...
Shaking the cobwebs outta my brain, they're starting to solidify.  

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...


 Dog ownership. Fun.  ;-)





Aug 19, 2011

Picture this: Odds & Ends

Floating 

I call dibs

Yeah um..might be a few minutes late

now this is a farmer's market

Love at first sight, for both of them

Whew! Close call.

Nephew's own 'Abby Road' 

Aug 14, 2011

Another woman's kitchen

Sister was at work, I got bored waiting. Hauled out the camera and snapped a few.






My older but not by much Sister.  ;-) 

Aug 11, 2011

Musings of This, That and Other Things



The new 'Back to School' Staples commercials are airing now. 'It's the most wonderful time of the year' song is it's trademark August jingle. It's been a few years since I've had the pleasure of shoving that commercial in my daughters's faces. ( yeah I know, I'm mean that way.) I miss that first morning of school, flinging open the girls's bedroom door and singing it at the top of my lungs. Ahh warm fuzzy memories. Just don't ask the girls, somehow I don't think those memories carry the same warmth for them . Bwahahaha 


A phone call from out of the blue by an old friend turned into an evening @ Starbucks, reminiscing about the good old days we worked at the bookstore. Here in Canada, your Barnes & Noble is our Chapters and there's a Starbucks attached to most of them.  We were met by one of my besties who worked there at the time as well. We toured down memory lane ( what little is left of it ) visiting many names and characters we worked with during out time. ( Not all good but funny for the most part) I don't think that bookstore has seen a staff like us since. We rocked that store. Heck, we pwn'd it. 
Ran a tight ship we did,each one of us knowing our sections, ( My bestie learned one day who 'Cassi Nova' was , one of my fondest memories ) and wrap your head around this one, we actually cared about the customer! I know, I know.. days when someone cared!
It was never about the money, working there. Christmas was crazy hectic and at times a reason to quit on the spot. ( You'd be amazed how often I was held to blame because the customer waited till the last possible minute with no success only to have a strip torn off me ) Aside from those times there was joy in being surrounded by books, hundreds of thousands of them. The feel, the smell,the looks of them, I miss it. A lot.
It will remain to this day one of my favorite jobs, ever. And to be able to meet occasionally with old co-workers is a testament on how gelled we were as a staff. 

Yeah, we were awesome.
Well again...some of us were. ;-)


Locked myself out of the house yesterday. Jammies on, no shoes, hair not brushed. Warm bacon waiting to be enjoyed for breakfast. Yup, I did that. Because, you know, I'm special that way.
In my defense it wasn't my fault, stupid lock engages whenever it takes a notion.
I wanted to cry, curse,kick the shit out of that door but that would make me look crazier than I already am.
Oh was I pissed. And hungry. :-(
What the hell am I going to do now? Well.. take stock of the situation for one and make a plan. I spied my neighbour two houses down, got her cell phone and madly called my daughter who lives a mere 3 miles away.
(Yes walking distance but not in sock feet with shorts two sizes too big, tank top with no bra, hair like straw wearing a feral look. Not gonna cut it with the general public, I'm thinking.)
Just as well tried calling a patron resident of a graveyard, it's the same bloody thing. Little turd had my jeep with a spare key to the house and she was sleeping like the dead.
My neighbour suggested calling a locksmith, I gave it a moment's thought then rejected it. Wasn't willing to fork over 50 to 70$, thanks but no thanks.
Hmmm.. wait! Ladder? She had a ladder didn't she? Extendable ones that reached that second floor?  Where the only window of the house was open, screen on.
She nervously regarded me, offering me a helmut. Bah! Why? I'm only scaling to the second floor, it's all's good, Sugar. 

Up the ladder I shimmed, hearing her laboured (stressed?) breathing. Not good for a 20 something year old, tsk tsk. I laughed. I know, I know.. wrong thing to do but I wasn't scared, I just wanted my damn bacon. And to kick the damn stupid door in. She was having kittens down there, poor thing.
Alls well ends well. Made it in, grabbed a coffee card hubby had just given me and gave it to her. Ok , I slipped in her pocket, she didn't want to take anything but I felt bad for knocking a few years off her life.
Today, I'm heading out to make another spare key, can't find the first one, why would I , that would be to easy now, wouldn't it? Going to hide it somewhere outside and if someone finds it and robs me, go hard, asshole. I'm insured.
Never will bacon cool while some idiot, (read me) locks oneself out. 





What about you, my bloggy friends, what are your musings of the day?

Aug 7, 2011

F*&$! Hiring a private jet next time.

image from Google
This is what my 23 hour day looked like, stretching the boundaries of my sanity. 

(This is also the last one I'll fix to have. Ever.) 


Wake up at 4:30 am , stupid bladder.
Stupider barking dog outside, window's open. It's cold. Not at my house. Instant awake. (Haven't slept well in eight days, it being not my bed/pillows. No one's fault. )  


Photo shoot in the am, oopsy runs overtime, now have to rush to take daughter last minute shopping before flight leaves. 
Cram down lunch. Just suffered bad heartburn day before. Afraid to eat. 
Go back to parents house,  spend last 1/2 hour with my wee neice, won't see her for another year. Sniff. 


Pack bag, make sure nothing is forgotten. Swallow tylenol. Headache for eight days, not used to humidity levels. They are through the roof.
Drive to the airport, slow going. Traffic, construction, bad drivers. Need eyes in the back of my head, too bad horn's not broken, I'd exercise my right to use my finger. 
Bring car back to rental, go upstairs to ticket counter, long line ups. Wait in line. Wait some more. Shuffle, crawl forward. Sway.. so tired. Finally, our turn. 
Flight delayed. Shit. Will miss connecting. Crap. Rescheduling took 25 minutes. Someone get me a chair already. 
Hungry, eat fattening shit stuff, wash it down with beer. Afraid to get hungry on flight.  (Hypoglycemia is not a good thing.) Damn, this beer is gooood.
Table over, guy farts. Disgusting pig. Ruined the buzz of the beer, food turning over in stomach. How the hell does one fart in a damn restaurant and not batt a damn eyelash. Could of smacked him upside the head, stinking asshole.
Go to the departure gate, flight that was delayed is even more delayed. Will have 5 minutes to deplane and catch connecting. 
Great. Just great. 
Finally the plane is ready. Four hour flight ahead of me. TV's not working. Shit. Two boys with Mom in seat ahead of me. 2 Yr old boy reaching new decimals of screeching, Mom does nothing. Shitpissfack. Six year old bouncing off sides of airplane. sigh.
2o something year old in seat beside me. Not only plays air guitar & air drums with hands, he does it with his entire friggen body. The. Whole. Fucking. Four. Hours. 
Why me??
Tylenol. Alcohol. 
6 year old boy running up and down the isle. Stands beside me and takes over my hidden object game. Excellent player but kid? You are not invited to play. Mother ignores him/me. Damn cow. 
Stewardess AND steward lean into me, apologize. They feel sorry for me. Free drink. 
Not enough damn alcohol to fix this one. 
Air drummer/guitarist still going strong. I want to hurt him. Bad.
Tylenol does fuck all. 
Need to use the bathroom. Front one blocked by cart, start getting up to use back one, mother and two boys jump ahead. 
ARE YOU SHITTING ME??
I'm sitting in the seat taking the empty water bottle and smacking my head with it for a different kind of pain. 
I'm in a nasty dream aren't I? 
Slowwww decent, ears hurting, air guitar/drums rocking both seats now. Four hours of dead tinny noise from his earbuds. Weird crab like movements with his long tapered fingers. This visual is going to cause me nightmares.I know for sure. 
Shoot me now. Please. 
12 of us deplane before anyone else, rush like crazy people across a large airport to the departure gate. 
Plane delayed by an hour. 
Really? Fuck you at this point. 
Head to Chili's , 9 ounce glass of wine with a taco soup. 
Daughter likes the wine and the soup, I only get half the buzz. Oh well, can't handle my alcohol anyway.
Coffee, Tim Horton's. An hour gone. Time to board. 
'We apologize for the delay, we can not find a passenger, we will have to deplane all the luggage' 
Did I hear you right, you miserable airline? Are you for real??
This is hour 22 of being awake. Feeling shaky, sick. Ears are going to implode. Hoping stupid head will lope off.  o
Turbulence ALL the way in the small 24 seater. Can't I just jump now and end the pain?! Please?
Get to home airport, dizzy. Tired doesn't even cut it. 
Luggage comes 30 damn minutes after. 
Grabbed a taxi and told him to haul ASS or no tip. Take it or leave it, I. don't. care.
Get home. Hour 23. 
Kiss 2nd daughter hello, go upstairs  and fall face first to bed.
Woken up next morning @ 9 am by recycling truck, with my recycling not out, nor the garbage. 
Hair wild with two eyes in same socket, rushing out like a fool. Missed the blue bags, threw garbage out. Gave something for the neighbours to talk about. Stopped myself from flipping a couple of them off. Get bent, losers.
Went to start kettle. 
Need coffee. Bad. 
Not a FUCKING stitch of milk in the house. I don't drink black. 
Meltdown ensued. 
Everyone scattered. 


Functioning abilities returned...three days later.
Sanity was lost somewhere above the clouds.
If you find it let me know, I'll need it at some point I guess.

Aug 6, 2011

August's Open Letters




Dear Elderly People ,
You were lost, unsure of the area and very much at wit's end, I wasn't about to take your money you offered. I drove slow, made you followed me across city to the hospital you needed to get to. It was my pleasure and the hug I got was worth more than any amount of cash offered.
Signed, 

Sweet on Seniors


Dear Brendan 
Seriously? You are no Romeo and Rachel is no Juliette. Man up, you patsy. If you need help go talk to Jeff. He's got a bead on how to stay a man in a relationship. 
Signed
Stay on the porch, you little puppy.


Dear Coffee drinkers,
Stop racing me in to the coffee shop. It. drives. me. nuts. You ruin my java frame of mind. I could cheerfully 'trip' and spill the whole cup on your lap. Complete waste of darn good coffee on the very deserving.

Signed,
It's always a race to the red light, to the coffee line , to the end of the day.


Dear Life,
Can we just go back, for a wee bit, to a time where picking the right coloured crayon was the biggest decision I had to make?
Signed,
I want a crayon, I don't care if it's the broken one.



Dear Boy,
You are sniffing around my daughter. Tread lightly, I'm older, meaner, pre-menopausal. I'm tired of seeing my offspring hurt. 

Signed, 
Momma 'Sharp Clawed' Bear

Dear Bladder, 

Size matters ya know. So why the hell do you have to be so small? Why do I always have to be chained to within a half hour away from any stupid bathroom? You always cramp my style. Tired of doing the dance with you. ( ha ha get it? dance? the pee pee kind? Damn I'm funny) 
Signed,
Bigger is better.


Dear Air Canada, 
I flew with you because I had no choice. Never. Ever. Again. Might I suggest you look towards your competitor. They know how to do it right. 
Signed, 
WestJet frequent Flyer