October's Open Letters

Dear (so called) 'Professional' Person,

You took your position and abused it.  Watch you don't fall face first in the crap you enjoy spraying. Your true colours makes you ugly, inside and out. Your comeuppance ( go get a dictionary, sugar) isn't far behind.

Signed,

Find some class. 

Dear Cheese Puffs

The way you slowly melt on the roof of my mouth when I apply a slight bit of pressure.. the way you release all your cheesy goodness... the way I can't stop when I'm with you.. is it any wonder I snarl when someone else touches you? 

Signed

Your Obsessed Fan

Dear Dance Floor Traveler, 

There are a lot of women in that room. We all need room to move, make up your mind where you want to be and stay within a three foot radius of it. Like we all do. Back me into the wall again, and you won't like how I 'bounce' off it straight back to you. 

Signed, 

Space Cadet ( again ) 

Dear Rain,

Piss off, Eh

Signed,

Sunshine Starved

Dear Brain, 

Not a good time to start thinking in the dead of night. You go places you've no business at. Shut down, shut up and sleep. 

Signed,

I gotta thinkin' problem

Dear Justin Bieber,

Your photo op with the Hooter girls on the front page? You're still wet behind the ears, boy. Fail.

Signed,

Newspaper Reader

Dear Me, myself and I

Hang on ok? 

Signed,

Me, myself and I

Dear Carbs, 

Some days you are my happiness, some days my curse. Why can't you and my body play nice with each other? I'm more than willing, so um get with the program already. 

Signed,

Carbs whore

Dear Person who is enjoying my coffee card, 

I hope the next cup you drink burns your entire mouth, ass.hole. That will be a good hint to turn a card in when you find one.

Signed, 

Coffee Karma