You gotta have heart

I have a heart :-)
Go figure. HA
That was the joke of the day.

My facebook status ( for those of you who are unable to access it ) was:
" is at the Medical Imaging Center, they're trying to figure out if I have a heart. hmm debatable I'm told "

I was joking around as I had to go through extensive tests. True to Jamie form,I joked about it.
It's what I do, it's how I deal. But lo and behold, out came the responses to tell me how big my heart was or that I had a heart of gold and so on.
Truth? It wasn't what I was fishing for AT all, not my intention. But boy o boy, it touched me deep.

Those who know me, know I NEVER hunt for compliments, I don't need them. I'm secure in
who I am, what I am in my world and those in it. But still...it touched me.It takes me aback, makes me blush ( I kid you not ) but warmsme in a place I allow few to touch.

Testing was long. Getting injected with radioactive crap isn't my idea of fun and it made me feel funny for most of the day. ( I get injected again tomorrow shitpissfrig UGH )There's the reason I don't dabble in drugs, I H A T E feeling 'funny', not myself, not in control. Getting knocked out before an operation, when you feel higher than a kite? I panic. The nurses have to coo,sooth and almost sing me bloody lullabies till I go under. Waking up? Best not be in my line of vision, I'll bite you head off. I'm truly that grumpy when I come to.
When I had the clips inserted after my second baby and I came to, I remember every single nasty thing I said about that no good for nothing cowardly husband of mind who wasn't letting anyone snip snip, no way , no how, not a snowball's chance in H -E -double L. No one was getting near the family jewels with a sharp instrument, not going to happen, to bad so sad, ain't going there blah blah blah  
 * taking a breath here *
He wasn't there when I came to. I'm sure the nurses would of felt sorry for him and ushered him out.
I was gunning for him the first  half hour.

What was I talking about ? ...Oh yeah, my heart. :-) At some point I felt like I was on an episode of House. That's some heavy duty HUGE machinery they have in there.
But the good news is,  I DO have a heart! I know I have one, I saw pictures. So phooey on you who say I don't. The proof is in the pictures. :-P

And currently my heart is all warm and gooey from those that reached out
and touched me with theirs.
:-)