July's Open Letters

Dear Pasty faced Copper,
Our backyards face each other. You smack your dog one more time and I'll gather my dog's poo and deposit it a bag in your mailbox. Jerk.
Signed,
Disgusted.

Dear Trades people,
I realize it's hot work framing, bulldozing and hammering, I do. But could you please take those beer bottles and do something other than leaving them on the mailbox or tucked away in not so hidden places?
Signed,
Time and Place for a cold one.

Dear Trades people, ( again )
Give it a rest on Sundays will ya? Sheesh
Signed,
Sleeping in would be nice.

Dear Dog,
I would appreciate if you practiced some restraint in regards to your bodily functions when sitting on my lap. Cutting the cheese is no problem for you, I see. But it deeply affects my nasal passages. In fact it burns them beyond functionality.Thank you for your consideration in the future.
Signed,
Your Human Owner

Dear Drag Queen,
Bite me , Bitch.
Signed,
Not even in the same ball park. Arg!

Dear Carbs
Piss off, mmmkay? We don't have to like each other so much, do we?
Signed,
Carbaholic Craver

Dear Jimmy Buffet

Your Margaritaville song gives me wanderlust. I want a beach, sun, sand and a place where time crawls. I want my biggest dilemma to be what bathing suit to cover up wear today.  And strangely I'm craving salt.
Signed,
Northern Canadian Chick, eh.