Jan 30, 2011

January's Open Letters



Open Letters

Dear Young Gold Digger, 
Let me clear up the confusion. Men don't have to spend ALL their money on you. The way you put out, they don't have to. By the way, are you tested on a regular basis? You should be.  
Signed,
You give my gender a bad name.

Dear Customer Service Person, 
Please understand the title for which you were hired for. In short, you are there to help the, and repeat after me if this confounds you, c u s t o m e r. You are not paid to chat with your friend over at the cash register behind me, thus talking around me or above me. And don't stand there with the receipt still talking to your co-worker, waiting for me to reach over and take it. You little snot, whatever you make per hour is too much.
Signed, 
The Customer you are supposedly paid to help. 

Dear El Nino,
Grow a pair and take on that nasty piece of work, El Nina . Almost 3 ft of snow inside of a week and a half here.. you good and pissed her off this time, pal. sigh
Signed,
Waving a white flag from the bowels of the snowbank.

Dear Mood, 
Really? Try and improve a wee bit mmkay? Otherwise it's going to be you and me for the rest of the winter season...all by our lonesomes. 
Signed,
Find your happy place right quick

Dear eReader,
You. Rock. 
Signed
New Convert ( and saving a tree )

Dear Me
Ok, so .. rough January. Keep the faith and a good stock of wine, it'll turn soon. If it doesn't then 'praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.'  
Signed, 
Me

Dear Lotto Max 50 million $ winner 
I can't help but think that amount of money is terrifying to win. We all try but you nailed it. I hope you don't follow along the path of previous winners of huge amounts. Scary stuff when you read about it. Yet I also can't help but think how 10% of that would of been nice in my account. Sigh. 
Signed,
9 to 5

6 comments:

  1. This post is really very good. This is one of the best i have seen so far. Thanks for sharing!

    Letters

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  2. I LOVE your open letters!

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  3. Amen to January almost being over. So close, babe. Hang in there!

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  4. very cute and enjoyable letters. thanks rose

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  5. Great post! Especially the letter to the Customer Service Person. :D

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  6. madhu, glad you enjoyed them. :-)

    Missy, takes me a while but it's therapeutic ha ha

    Dawn, yup. Thank the powers that be. This one was a bitch.

    Rose, Ah glad you liked them.

    MomAgain, I worked many years in customer service. Not the same these days, AT all. sigh.

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Most times I'll respond back here. Sometimes I"ll answer back via email. Situation depending.