Surveys beg for sarcasm, ya?

Don't ever send me those questionaires cause this is what you are going to end up with. Savvy?
P.S. All dry with clean undies now Heather? ;-)

A Friends Survey

1. What time is it?  9:05 in the frikken  rainy mud infested construction zone I live in am

2. What's your name - Depends who's calling out my name. Anything from Mom to Jamie to Bitch

3. What are you most afraid of - Not being able to high karate chop the idiot who threatens my family.

4. What's the most recent movie you've seen- Shrek 3D with  Spankin glasses

5.  Where were you born?  In a hospital bed, I think. I was kinda young, hard to remember

6. Favorite food - Food

7. What's your natural hair color - brunette but these days white mixed in ugh

8. Ever been skinny dipping - does it count when I was 5?

9. Love someone so much it made you cry? - nope I'm a right bitch lol

10. Ever been in a car accident? - yuppers but shhhh my parents STILL don't know.

11. Croutons or bacon bits -both @ the real deal

12. Ever been on a ship - does a canoe count?

13. Favorite Flower - Lilacs- GEEZUS you wanna know HOW long it took me to remember what those damn stupid things were called. Damn. Stupid. Memory.

14. Favorite day of the week? Any day but Monday unless I'm grouchy then Monday suits me to a T- And if that's the case, stay away. Stay far far away. ;-)

 

15. Favorite sport to watch -  Stupidity getting it's own back. Now that there's SPORT.

16.  Warner Brothers or Disney - Dunno, never knew them personally although it saddens me I'm not related, ya know?

17. Favorite restaurant -  ANY, I don't hafta COOK!

18. Favorite drink -  as in alcohol? Gray Goose.Why, hello.  As in not? Water

19. Favorite ice cream - don't eat ice cream but if I had to , I'd pick rich melt in your mouth sooth your soul chocolate with chunks that melt even slower than the ice cream.

20. What color is your bedroom carpet -  bloody friggen boring

21. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest?  well now, we'll just hafta wait and see now won't we, duh

 

22. Who will be the last to respond? the one that does like me and doesn't get to her emails till weeks after.

 

23. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their
responses  - Hello??? didn't you get the memo, curiosity killed the cat.

 

24.  How many times did you fail your driver's test - four, damn cones, stupid mile long ugly ass embarrassing horseshit brown station wagon. ( sorry Mom hee hee ) I 'killed' a person (cone) four times. Ohh damn I's badass eh!

 

25. Last person you went to dinner with - 3 kick ass albeit crazy women, like the um bad crazy kind muahahaha

 

26.  Favorite TV show -  I love the sarcasm of the Big Bang Theory

27.  What do you want to do before you die - Travel, get rich, have wild jungle sex with George Clooney, bitch slap Paris Hilton, twice. :-)

28.  Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail - hmm wouldn't you love to know. Hint: Think Elongation  ;-)

29.  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  Hmm wasn't around . No one sent me the memo either. haruumph feeling left out here. sigh.

 

30.  Park or Zoo - Zoo, it's fitting, take it from me.

31.  Have you been overseas? -Maybe I just wanna go over the rainbow.. somewhere? Huh? Huh? Why don't you ask me that one huh???

32.  What do you do when you are bored - Go out for coffee, go look for trouble, cause it. Life's short, STIR IT!

33.  What are your favorite colors - Any jewel tone with jewels attached to it preferably :0)

34.  How many people are you sending this e-mail to?  To all my G-unit hommies. So if you get this from me, you've arrived ya know. That's just how I roll.

35.  Your usual Bedtime - anywhere from 8:30 to 11:00. SHUT your pie hole, I'm not 20 anymore.

36.  How many tattoos do you have?  two, one small, one big mutha

37.  How many pets do you have? - 2 f*&$'ing dogs, want the little shits? Free.

38.  Time you finished this survey 9:19am. Took me FOREVER to remember what Lilacs where called. Sigh.. age.

*** I took out the 'what to do 'part here. Honestly, if ya don't know what to do at this point, where the HELL have you been??