I knew for years I was dealing with somewhat of a narcissistic, pathological liar type of personality. No those are not fighting words, they are the bare bones truth of the matter.
Contrary to what you might believe, I'm more mad at myself than anyone else. I'm smarter than that, I know I am. But I have this empathetic nature, this belief that somewhere underneath lies a decent person.
The saying goes 'Can't see the forest for the trees' BUT I have the ability to see those trees and the whole damn bloody forest to boot.I wanted to believe there was a purpose to being in the midst of it all. Continuing on with the metaphor, I've left that forest a while back. Without regrets. End of what should of been walked away from years ago. When I was warned by all and sunder.
It's amazing the effects it's had on myself, my surroundings and my family. But every once in a while I get my face shoved back in that damn mess and today is one of those days.
Honestly? My kids lied to me growing up but on a need to save their lives basis. To cover their asses for fear of having Mom's Law slap them in the rear end. Nothing's scarier, my girls tell me, than a 5'2" madder than hell french woman gunning for you.
One of my ALL TIME things that disgusts me the most is being lied to. I h a t e the toxicity of lies, the ones that are crafted, the blatant ones, ones that harm others for personal gain to the liar. Still to this day I'm finding out how extensive it went. Well no, let's rephrase that. While it's no surprise to find out yet another lie some of them piss me off more than others. Today's pissed me right off.
Geezus get the HELL off my planet of awareness will you? Again folks, believe me when I say I'm WAY more mad at myself. Fool me once, shame on you and all that jazz..
But then again, I have to remember I'm dealing with a narcissistic type character. Nothing is their fault, they didn't do anything wrong, they don't lie and on and on and never ending on blah blah blah.
I'll work through today's lie, tomorrow's bullshit and future crap that may arise but I hardly think it can be easy for the opposite parties involved. Given the swamp of lies drawn over the years, tripping over their vines has to be a daily occurrence. One doesn't get tired of falling face down in that crap all the time? Oh wait, sorry I forgot, it's not their fault.
The bitch is, karma can be a real one.
:-)
Aye Charlene, we both know he's lost out already.
ReplyDeleteHis kids, you. Life is long.
You now have breathing space, room to grow and expand your horizons as cliche as it sounds ( it might be to fresh for you still to realize it at this point) It's going to be harder for him fighting for space with his over inflated ego and sociopathic cracks in his character traits. ( by the sounds of how you describe him )
Yeah we both know Karma's a real bitch at times.
Take a moment let it sink it and grin. :-)